Thursday, September 30, 2010
4 Days Left: We interrupt this pennant race to talk about what an a-hole Mat Latos is
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
5 Days Left: Forever Young
-Kung Fu Panda, who is trying SO hard and sucking SO much but who came up huge last night and played a Panda-esque game.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
6 Days Left: MARMOL!!!!!
Monday, September 27, 2010
One Week Left: Here we go! Weeeeeeeeee!
I’m glad mvs brought up the stupid dinosaur behind the plate.
by ryantex on Aug 26, 2010 4:18 PM EDT reply actions
I hate that stupid thing..
..with an unreasonable hatred.
----
But I digress.
The Padres took 2 of 3 from the Reds, so we remain .5 games ahead. But the Braves continue to fall apart, losing 2 of 3 to the Nationals who have hilariously optimistic announcers, for what it's worth. It's like every day is opening day in Nationals Land and every pitcher is Stephen Strasburg, even if it's actually September, the Nats are 34 games out of first, Strasburg has Tommy John surgery on his eyeballs and the Nats are throwing out the corpse of Livan Hernandez (who is still pretty good, I admit) to pitch.
But I digress again.
So here we are. 1 week left. I don't really know how to feel about life. On the one hand, it's tough not to be optimistic...the Giants are playing well, they're at home, they're leading both races, their pitching is awesome, and the Rockies are pretty much goners. On the other hand, our leadoff hitter is dealing with "expanding scar tissue" on his stomach, our #2 hitter can hit but can't throw, the rules still prevent Buster Posey from batting in all 9 spots in the order, and, more than anything, we are still the San Francisco Giants.
Meanwhile, I am focused like a laser on the fact that the Giants should, but won't, switch Zito and Lincecum in the rotation so that Timmy pitches against the Padres Friday night. Why should they? Below the picture, I offer an indepth analysis:
In depth analysis:
1. Timmy is super duper good
2. Zito is super duper not good
3. We really need to beat the Padres.
Why won't they?
Because baseball teams just don't do stuff like that. They just don't. But I have a plan. I'm going to drive to Alabama or South Carolina or wherever Bruce Bochy's 146 year old mother lives and I'm going to inform her that if she doesn't tell her son to switch Timmy and Zito in the rotation, I'm going to bribe the county fair officials to strip her boysenberry jam of its 2009 first place ribbon.
See, that was just rude. Kind of anti-southern, even, which is not cool since I married a southerner. But this is what a Giants pennant race will do to you. It makes you crazy. It makes you think people are out to get you. It makes you irrationally angry at a giant purple dinosaur. It makes you want to hug Matt Cain (who is very huggable) but also Cody Ross (not as huggable) and maybe even Brian Wilson (a scratchy hug). It makes you go to ESPN.com and when you find out that your team has an 83% chance of making the playoffs, it makes you want to kill ESPN.com.
And tonight, it will make me sit on my couch, watching the Braves and Padres play, while the Giants rest their various ailments (Torres: stomach, Sanchez: shoulder, Zito: wallet engorgement) and, despite all the reasons for optimism, hold a pillow over my face while waiting for the Cubs and/or Marlins to do something stupid that will ruin everything.
At least the Rockies are done.
Or.
Are they?
Today's Poll Question: What is the name of that dinosaur?
A) Dino-Whino
B) Dinger
C) Pokey-mon.
D) Jason Giambi
Hey! A poll question with an actual correct answer! I feel this is progress, somehow.
Friday, September 24, 2010
10 Days Left: Die, Rockies, Die!
I fed my baby and as I rocked back and forth in the rocking chair, completely at peace with the world and the pennant race and also the pennant race, I felt an overwhelming sense of calm overtake me. Everything is going to be...ok...
Two notes:
Thursday, September 23, 2010
11 Days Left: Frodo Failed, Miguel Tejada has the ring
I don't have time to write an update today, I'm way too busy at work and I'm leaving early to go coach youth baseball which, unlike watching the Giants, makes me happy.
Deal?
I'll start writing updates again when the Fodgers actually show up against the Padres.
Aw hell, Giants! I'm sorry if I seem mad. I'm not. You know I love you. Please just try to score some runs, ok? You've scored 1 run in 2 games so far on this road trip. And you're 1-1. So it's ok! You can do it! Please, for the love of all that is good, "do it."
Do it for my dad.
Walk to Mordor.
Today's Poll Question
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
12 Days to Go: Buster Posey: Better than you
.5 games ahead in division, .5 games behind in wild card
Yesterday, as the Giants took a commanding 1 to 0 lead entering the bottom of the 9th in Chicago, I decided to call my dad, who was recovering from surgery in the hospital.
"Hey Dad," I said. "I need to have you on the phone during the bottom of the 9th for moral support."
"Sorry," he said. "I can't. They're doing stuff to me right now."
"I know, Dad! That's what I mean. They're always 'doing stuff' to us! I mean, 1-0, really? We couldn't score more than 1 run for Matt Cain? And now Wilson's going to load the bases and Fukudome is going to come up and foul off 67 pitches in a row before grounding out and I'm going to end up in the hospital next to you!"
"No," he replied. "I mean the nurse is changing the tubes."
Oh.
Well, the Giants are in fine September form, loading the bases multiple times but not scoring, laughing at Matt Cain as he returns from throwing another scoreless inning and asks "hey guys, would you mind scoring a run? It'd be really swell," and playing completely tortureful baseball for 7 innings until Buster Posey launched a homerun over the center field wall.
And that's why this email is dedicated to Buster Posey, who is better than you.
Look at these numbers:
.323 avg
.373 obp
.522 slugging
15 homers in 380 at bats
And he hasn't even turned 15 yet.http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTF88JGdtSPHAkdQ2g9n1NbwxoDp-UVs1B4zFo-QVUrmahqFXo&t=1&usg=__e6q-V1OMEO9ESxb_7Th1RjaZoDw=
Where would the Giants be without Buster Posey?
1) I wouldn't be writing a blog called 24 days of magic. i'd be writing a blog called: "how soon does college basketball start?" It'd be really boring. Each entry would be like: "only 86 days to go!"
2) Probably still ahead of the Diamondbacks and Nationals.
3) But who isn't?
4) Oh right. Them: http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSSXCdI2cXJpQjuIe3Yo5UItOhxxH0LQUXNo0zfWh8GUMp-2nI&t=1&usg=__HeshSUZ9i9ODLbXYJ9gwJy9Wwms=
Meanwhile, the Braves lost again to the Phillies, who haven't lost since the all-star break. And while the wild card feels like a good back-up plan right about now, I don't really want to play the Phillies in a 5-game series. Or a 7-game series. Or the Bud Selig 6-game series. (if you get that joke, you really know baseball). My secret plan is that the Phillies will lose in the first round to the wild-card Padres (1-0, 2-1, 1-0) and that the Padres will....AH! WHAT AM I DOING? BAD ANDY!
The Padres whipped the completely useless Fodgers who continue to roll over, kick their little legs in the air and yell "look! celebrities come to our games!" But the Rockies lost in Arizona, and are now 2.5 games back.
Andy: "for the last week, the Rockies have looked like a team that has run out of voodoo magic." (cue 12 game winning streak to end season)
BAD ANDY! Why can't you be more like Buster Posey who is better than you?
Today's Poll Question: What is your favorite thing about Buster Posey?
A) His incredible hitting. He's a rookie and a catcher and he's twice as good as every other Giants hitter.
B) His cannon arm. I loved watching the Padres try to steal on him. He threw out 7 different members of the Hairston family plus a deceptively fast Matt Stairs.
C) His name is "Buster Posey". What else do you need?
D) He looks like he's 13 years old. Even his haircut. It's hilarious.
E) Everything. He is the greatest human being ever to walk the planet.
F) The planet? What about other planets?
G) What about non-humans? He's greater than them, too.
H) What about people who just mostly crawl? Like babies?
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
13 Days Left: Oh, the Braves lost. Now everything is ok.
.5 games up in division, 1.5 games back in wild card
Yesterday, as the Giants flew to Chicago, the Padres played dungeons and dragons together in their hotel in LA, and the Rockies ritually sacrificed a coyote in Arizona, I watched the Niners game with my almost-9-month old baby.
"Look! Niners!" I said.
Rachel stared at the television and then continued her game of picking up her toys and hitting them against the coffee table as hard as possible.
"Frank Gore! Michael Crabtree! Patrick Willis!"
Nothing.
My daughter is the anti-bayarea-sports-talk-radio-caller.
This is what KNBR 680 sounds like on my way to work.
"Alright, Giants are in first place with 13 days to go! Let's take our first caller."
"uhhhhhhh, am I on the air?"
"yes."
"Oh, cool. The niners really got to play some smash-mouth football this week. I mean, really, really, we got to smash their mouths. As many mouths as possible, with as much smashing as possible. I feel strongly about this."
next caller
"I dont' know if I like that Mike Singletary wears a cross around his neck during the press conference. I mean, Jesus would have been a terrible linebacker."
next caller
"NINNNNNNNNNNNNNNERRRRRRRRRRRRRS!"
Which is nice, because honestly, as you've probably figured out, Giants fans are tormented souls and most Giants calls sound like this: "Why do they play Rowand? Why? Why? I don't understand why Bochy wants to hurt me so much! I'm a nice person, aren't I?"
The only thing that happened yesterday was that the Braves lost to the Phillies, which brought us to within 1.5 games of the wild card. My initial reaction was to be happy, and of course it's better for them to lose than to win. But my second reaction was:
"Oh, the Braves lost. Now everything will be fine."(sobs uncontrollably)
I mean, let's say the Braves do start losing. Well, if we're winning enough to catch them, we'll probably be winning enough to stay ahead of the Padres and Rockies anyway. And then the fact that the Braves play the Phillies again the last weekend of the season...just doesn't feel meaningful. By that time, the Phillies will be 28 games ahead of Atlanta and instead of starting Roy Oswalt and Roy Halladay, they'll start Roy Barnes and Roy Orbison and the Braves will bring back Fred McGriff just to taunt us and sweep the series.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Two Weeks Left: I feel slightly ill
.5 games ahead in division, 2 games back in wild card
As bad as Saturday was, Sunday was awesome. It started at 11am, when St. Louis beat the Padres 4-1, continued into the first inning of the Giants game when Barry Zito held the Brewers to less than 1 run and then Jose Guillen crushed a grand slam. At that point it was: Total Runs scored by Giants in first two games of series: 1 Total Runs scored by Giants on one swing in game three: 4 But then it got oh so much better when the Rockies blew a 6-1 lead to the Fodgers, who tied the game with 2 outs in the 9th and won it in the 11th. The Fodgers: Officially less useless than the Mets.
So now it comes down to this. Two weeks. Giants up half a game on San Diego and 1.5 games up on Troy Tulowitski's Fightin' Mullets. My thought process:
1. Zito won! Wow!
2. And he can count to 10!
3. There are 2 weeks left.
4. I feel slightly ill
It's not my fault I feel slightly ill. It's not even Zito's fault.It's not even Giambi or Mike Adams' fault! It's possibly only partly Aaron Rowand's fault. I feel slightly ill because this can only end one of two ways.Either we miss the playoffs and I spend the next 6 months agonizing about all the games we lost 2-1 because Pablo Sandoval hit into 3 double plays in the first 3 innings, OR...well, there's another, far more horrible option.
We could MAKE the playoffs.
Oh man, can you imagine how slightly ill I will feel then? Can you imagine the agony of the Giants in a five-game series?
I won't sleep, I won't eat, I'll have nightmares about Rob Nen and Jose Cruz Jr. Fox will show flashbacks to Scott Speizio and Troy Glaus and Troy Percival and Troy, the motion picture (whch is possibly worse than even Troy Percival). TBS will show a game and Craig Sager will wear a florescent suit.
http://dunkingwithwolves.com/files/2010/02/Sager_Pimp.jpg
It will be bad.
Today, absolutely nothing interesting happens except the Braves play the Phillies. Tomorrow, the Padres play the Fodgers, the Rockies play Arizona, and we play the Cubs, who apparently still have a baseball team. Who knew?
Today's Poll Question: Do you also feel slightly ill?
A) Yes.
B) Yes
C) Yes
D) No. I root for an American League team. We don't have pennant races. We have auctions. Oh, and we have the Rays. They are quirky and fun! They are exempt from the auction as they have spent all their money on cowbells.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Day 9 (I think?)
.5 games ahead in division, 1 game back in wild card
I'll be honest, I barely watched last night. I was busy screaming at the television as Cal went down in horrid flames against a WAC school. Being a Cal fan is like being a Giants fan but worse because Cal doesn't have Buster Posey.
While Cal was getting torched, the Giants were getting....somethinged. They lost 3-0 to a team that has no pitching. They made 2 errors. They allowed Randy Wolf to throw a complete game shutout against them. It was just...lame.
And yet, it lacked a dramatic sense of foreboding, because in St. Louis, the Padres were getting beaten like they'd attacked Tony LaRussa's shelter for stray pitbulls. And while LaRussa didn't come running out of the shower with a towel around his waist yelling like a crazy man...
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/blog/big_league_stew/post/La-Russa-angry-and-wet-after-Phillips-calls-Card?urn=mlb-261411
...what the Cardinals DID do was hammer Mat Latos and the rest of the Padres pitching staff 14-4.
With the Padres self-destructing, Giants fans have to feel good. Oh God. Wait. I almost forgot.
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/recap?gid=300917119
Thank you, Dodgers. You're so helpful.
As for the wild card, the Mets were predictable yesterday, staking themselves a 3-0 lead before giving up 6 runs in one inning to a team that last week got shut out by the PIRATES.
Tonight, Timmy Slim Timmy Jimmy Jim is on the mound. But the thing with the Giants is, it doesn't really matter who pitches as long as it's not Zito. It's not like Bumgarner got lit up. He gave up 2 runs. It's not like with the Rockies where they'll lose because Not-Ubaldo is pitching and then the next day they say "oh, thank goodness Ubaldo is pitching today."
The last 6 Giants losses were by the following scores:
3-0
1-0
1-0
3-1
4-2
2-1
So it's not like we lose 1-0, and then go "oh good, Sanchez is pitching tomorrow. Now we'll score more than 0 runs for sure!"
Today's Poll QuestionWhat does Tony LaRussa look like with a towel on?
A) Scrawny and weird. Does he wear his glasses in the shower?
B) I bet he's tatted up like crazy.
C) Please, Giants, please play a more interesting game today. I don't want another poll question like this.
D) Funny you should ask! See, this one time...
Friday, September 17, 2010
Day 8: First Place
.5 games up in Division, tied for wild card
First place.
That's where winners go.
The Giants are winners.
As such, the Giants are in first place.
-Bucky Katt Paraphrased
Last night, a 1st place team beat the living crap out of a 4th place team. Nothing too fancy...the first place team hit 3 home runs, including a mammoth "you will all know my name!" shot from their rookie catcher and a "thank god, now I don't have to run after I hit the ball" shot from its aging right fielder.
The first place team's starting pitch...ok, I can't do this anymore. Guess what?? I'm talking about the Giants! Yeah! No, seriously, the whole "first place team" thing I was doing...that's the Giants! Yeah! Posey! Guillen! Giants! Gigantes! San-Fran-cis-co-Giiiiii-ants. Jonathan Sanchez had 12 k's! He even struck out Joe Torre and made him retire! He struck out Tommy Lasorda. He struck out Jackie Robinson. He struck out Pee Wee Reese AND Pee Wee Herman! The Giants are in first place! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Ahem.
Ok, so it gets better.
1) The Padres lost 4-0 to the Cardinals and looked BAD. They have 3 more games in St. Louis while...
2) We play the lame Brewers at home and
3) The Braves have to go to New York where the Mets are 41-27 (the Mets are 2-86 on the road).
Holy crap. We could do this. We could make the playoffs. And if we made the playoffs...
And our starting rotation was: Timmy, Cain, Sanchez
And maybe we'll get the Reds in the first round, and the Braves in the NLCS. And the Royals in the world series
And then...
And then...
Oh wait, this just in:
Albert Pujols ate bad sushi last night and has contracted a 72 hour bug that will cost him the rest of the Padres series. As such, the Cardinals will start a lineup consisting of 9 guys named Skip and Colby and the Padres will win the next three games by scores of 2 to 0, 1 to 0, and 0 to negative 1. David Eckstein will go 0 for 4 with 5 runs scored. And Mike Adams will do whatever it is that Mike Adams does when he's not invading Klingon territory.
Hold on, this just in:
The Mets really suck.
C'mon, Baseball Gods, can't I just have this one day? Just one? It's September, it's foggy, the Giants are in first place, and just for one day, can I dream about that parade down Market Street without having to worry about the absolute fact that something will go wrong to prevent it? Let me keep my dream. Tony Gwynn the 7th won't lead off the Padres-Cardinals game with an inside-the-park grand-slam for another two and a half hours or so. Let me have those 2 and a half hours. They belong to me, and Buster, and the Crazy Crab.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF2NH6XxyPFkcZqoLrigOv65Kre_IrrOVOye9mEjlunmGNdNj7dTm3W_DnwCygY4godr_yznVao0Bx6qfT1B7wr1hvfLRU74rMqlrheV48chNyD9i_izXDrpUSuLyMCLl5w7QoGjbggqA/s320/crazy_crab.jpg
Today's Poll Question If GMAIL wasn't being weird and not letting Andy post pictures into this email, which picture from this entry should he have posted?
A) Jonathan Sanchez striking out Pee Wee Herman
B) Mike Adams negotiating with Klingon admirals
C) A picture of the Mets sucking.
D) A Giants championship parade down Market Street
Actually, this trivia question could be thought of as "which of these is not fictional?"
And the answer, of course, would be:
http://www.nydailynews.com/blogs/touchingbase/300_thank-god.JPG
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Day 7: The Stopper
Day 7: The Stopper
.5 games back in division, .5 games back in Wild Card
I like to think I know how Barry Zito's contract negotiations with the Giants went back in 2007. Something like....this...
Zito: The A's and Yankees are offering $6 million a year.
Giants: Ok, we'll give you $18 million a year.
Zito: And I want a guitar
Giants: Two! Zito: And a 5 year contract.
Giants: no, no. We'll give you 7 years.
Zito: And my own stopper.
Giants: Two stoppers! Wait, what?
Zito: You know, my own stopper. You know how every team has a great pitcher who steps up when the team is on a losing streak and acts as "the stopper"? Well, I plan on pretty much sucking most of the time and I don't want the fans to spend 5 days thinking about how much they hate me. So I'd appreciate it if you could have somebody pitch right after me and be my own personal stopper. Somebody kind and gentle. Somebody with a slight twang; a married guy with 2 dogs who doesn't cheat on his wife and looks like a goober when he doesn't get his hair cut. Hmmmm...if only we had somebody like that....
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Day 6: You are thinking I am making this up?
1.5 games back in division, 1.5 games back in wild card
1 hit.
Yesterday, the Dodgers got one hit.
Wow! Great! What a big win for the Giants!
Win? Clearly you have not been paying attention.
Going into thursday, our Giants were 2 games back of San Diego. We fought and battled and won 3 huge games in a 4 game series against the Padres. On the road. We erased 2 games. Two days later, we have allowed 1 hit, and we're back to being 1.5 games back. Zito, channelling his inner Patrick Duffy (his more successful, more talented uncle from Step by Step), allowed 1 hit and no earned runs. But in the 6th the Dodgers loaded the bases and with 2 outs a ball was hit up the middle and Juan Uribe fielded it. But then he dropped it. Normal people would react by saying "damn. well, it's only 1 run and it's only the 6th inning." Giants fans knew the game was over right there. Might as well flip to the Rockies-Padres game.
Padres 7, Rockies 6
You are thinking I am making this up? It happened again. The Padres started Inspector Garland and the Rockies started Not-Ubaldo. This time the Padres went up 4-0 but of course 4-0 became 4-3. And 6-3 became 6-4. And 7-4 became 7-6 because Mike Adams was out with a sore antenna. 7-6. Bottom of the 9th. Heath Bell vs....Giambi, of course.
Jamie: "I think he's back on roids. All his fat has become muscle and he looks slightly psychotic."
Andy: "Can you imagine if he and Heath Bell chest-bumped? Watch, he's going to walk, homer, or hit the ball off somebody's head."
Giambi took 4 pitches, each of which was exactly 2 millimeters outside and each of which was called a ball.Giambi yelled 'Me hate walk!' and took a bite out of his bat before being pinch-run for. But of course the next guy hits into a double play to end the game. Shoot me now.
TODAY'S POLL QUESTION Is it normal for a team in a pennant race to lose a game in which they give up 1 hit?
A) Yes, of course. I mean, it happened yesterday.
B) I'm sure it happens all the time. I mean, it happened yesterday, and then, uh, let's see...I mean, it happened yesterday.
C) For the Giants, it's normal.
D) Shoot me now. Is that a picture of Heath Bell stuffing his face? I have a headache.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Day 5: How the West Works
.5 games back in division, 1.5 back in wild card
Last summer, Collin and I spent pretty much all of our time watching the Rockies as the Giants unsuccessfully chased them for the wild card. It wasn't a pleasent experience by any means, although it did help us bond around our common hatred. See, over time, we realized that every Rockies home game is exactly the same.
1. One of the 4 Rockies starting pitchers not named Ubaldo would pitch and give up 6 runs in the first 4 innings.
2. The Rockies would trail by 4-9 runs in the bottom of the 7th at which point the other team's manager calls down to the bullpen and demands that the bullpen send him "the worst f$%ing pitcher we have. Now."
3. The Rockies immediately trim 60-80% of the lead in the 7th.
4. The other team brings in a good pitcher in the 8th and the Rockies rally but are stil trailing with 2 outs.
5. Jason Giambi is called upon to pinch-hit.
6. Every Rockies fan stands and claps, drool dribbling down their chins
7. Giambi fouls off 13 pitches and then doubles/homers/singles/hits the ball off somebody's head
8. Rockies win.
This summer, I've watched pretty much every Padres game I can. I have found that they, too, have a system.
1. One of the 7 Padres starting pitchers who nobody has ever heard of and who has a name like a French Police Inspector (Wade LeBlanc, Clayton Richard, Tim Stauffer, Cory Luebke, Mat Latos, Jon Garland) pitches 6 innings and allows 0-2 runs.
2. The Padres will score exactly 3 runs on 2 hits, 4 walks, 2 catchers' interferences, 3 errors, 5 stolen bases, and a well-placed ground ball by David Eckstein
3. One of the Padres goofy slider-throwing relievers with 2 first names (Luke Gregerson, Mike Adams, Adam Russell) comes in and shuts down the other team. A new one comes in for the 8th and does the same.
4. Heath Bell pitches the 9th. I turn off the televsion. It's pointless.
5. Padres win
So last night, I was curious to see what would happen when they played each other. After all, they both can't win. Can they? CAN THEY? For the first 7 innings, everything was perfect:
The Padres started Cory Luebke who is their 8th best starter (they need extra starters for when Latos has anger management classes). He of course gave up 0 runs in 4 plus innings.
The Rockies started Not-Ubaldo. He gave up 5 runs in 7 innings.
The Rockies fell behind 5-0 and immediately scored 4 runs to make it 5-4.
The Padres brought in Gregerson and the Rockies didn't score.
And then in the 8th, it happened. The universe almost collapsed.
With 1 out and 1 on, Jason Giambi rose from the dugout like a roid-filled troll. Mike Adams stood on the mound.The TV flashed Adams' numbers: 0.9 ERA in august. 0 era in September. The count goes to 0-2. 1-2. 2-2. Giambi fouls off 8 pitches in a row.
Adams throws him a 96 mph fastball located on the outside corner and Giambi swats it foul.
Adams does his goofy "look! I'm about to balk!" windup and throws a 94mph slider at Giambi's massive right thigh, and Giambi catches the ball and eats it. 3-2.
And now I realize that the universe is about to collapse. Because Giambi can't fail and Adams can't fail. Something is going to fail and then life on earth will end. Adams throws a fastball and Giambi yells "Me hit ball hard!" and slams it on a line toward right field, but Adrian Gonzalez catches it and steps on 1st for a double play. Of course. Of course that is how it would end.
Today's Poll Question: Why has Mike Adams' right arm not fallen off yet?
A) Because half the sliders he's thrown were to Aaron Rowand and he pretty much half-assed them since the result was guaranteed
B) Because McCovey Chronicles is right: Mike Adams probably isn't even really Mike Adams. There are probably 10 different slider-throwing goofs out there, each one "formed from mud like an orc." and the Padres just change them when they break down.
C) Because God hates the Giants
D) Because somebody had to slay the mighty Giambi. Now that his work on earth is done, Adams will return to his home planet.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Day 4
Day 4: Monday, September 13
Tied for division lead, 1 game back in wild card
What a great weekend. After winning 2 of the first 3 games against the Padres (two of the games were 1-0, of course), we were all set for the finale on Sunday: Mat Latos (owner of best ERA in the majors) vs. Tim Lincecum, otherwise known as Big Time Timmy Jim.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfI8EjoBJYU
In the first inning, Latos struck out Aaron Rowand (more on the horror of that later), Freddy Sanchez, and then gave up a bloop hit to Aubrey Huff. Giants announcer Dave Fleming then remarked that Latos was showing his temper by yelling at himself about a meaningless 1st inning 2-out single. Ha! Meaningless? Not when Buster Posey is up next and hits a 2-run homer. Giants 6, Padres 1. Tied for first.
Interesting side note: Mat Latos once threw a baseball and hit Dave Fleming's car, shattering a window. True story. Also a true story: Dave Fleming, as Stanfurd's football announcer, has probably interviewed Stanfurd head coach Jim Harbaugh about his $50,000 bathroom:
But I digress.
Those of you on this list who are not Giants fans might be thinking that all my talk about the Giants blowing it is hyperbole. Not true! Bill Simmons of ESPN.com ranks the Giants as the 6th most tortured sports franchise of all time, and given that several of the more tortured teams are from Cleveland, that's saying something. But if you want more proof, how about this? Remember when i said Aaron Rowand couldn't hurt us anymore because he never plays? Well, Sunday morning, starting center fielder Andres Torres woke up with a stomach pain.
A BAD stomach pain.
It was appendicitis.
He's out 2-3 weeks.
Which is bad because there's like 2-3 weeks left in the season. His replacement? Yep. And how did Mr. Rowand do in the Giants' 6-1 win? 0 for 5.
So now we come home to play the Dodgers, which is like playing a minor league team that really, really hates you. Meanwhile, the Padres play the Rockies, who have won 10 straight games and are only 1.5 out of first. The Rockies are so annoying, it's hard to put it into words. Hmmm. Maybe not words.How about a picture?
If only I could figure out how to post pictures to this blog. There'd be a picture of Troy Tulowitzki's mullett right here.
Today's Poll Question:Who are you rooting for? The Rockies or the Padres?
A) Well, definitely not the Padres
B) Well, definitely not the Rockies
C) Maybe it will snow? Like, a lot?
D) I am at peace with the fact that I cannot know which of these two teams will do better over the next 3 weeks and therefore I will simply observe and hope for an outcome that is beneficial to the Giants, and more importantly to Buster Posey who is all I ever need in life to be happy.
E) I'll take D, but without the creepy ending.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Day 1
Wilson: "What's up."
Fan: "Are you talking to me?"
Wilson: "yeah."
Fan: "Really?"
Wilson: "yeah, you having a good time?"
Fan: "Yeah! It's awesome!"
Wilson: "Is that your girlfriend?"
Fan: "Uh, yeah, why?"
Wilson: (smirks, and then throws 96mph fastball for strike 3)
This week, I had a brilliant idea. Why not write a blog about the Giants and send it to anyone who remotely cares? That's right! 24 days of Magic! Andy's September/October Giants Blog.
Day 1: Friday, September 10th, 1 game back in wild card, 1 game back in division
Last night was awesome. I mean, really, really awesome. For those who dont' know, the Padres have killed us this year. Well, killed is the wrong word. They've beaten us to death with a nerf hammer. They've beaten us 3-2, 1-0, 5-2, 3-2, 5-2, 1-0, 3-1, 3-2 and then finally 8-2, although I'm convinced we gave up the last 5 runs in that game on purpose just to mix things up. Going into yesterday, we'd beaten them exactly 2 times, both by 1 run in extra innings. So last night, when Andres Torres led off with a triple and we hit 4 home runs and won 7-3, it felt good...magic even. The best part was, none of the Padres goofy relievers got into the game. Luke Gregerson didn't pitch. Heath Bell didn't pitch. And for the love of all that is good, Mike Adams didn't pitch.
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://roundtripper.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/mike-adams.jpg&imgrefurl=http://roundtripper.wordpress.com/2008/07/30/steeltown-usa/&usg=__7gowoq37rOgfcOuAszEOtL-NBqo=&h=2896&w=1944&sz=3921&hl=en&start=1&zoom=1&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=LhnipvzDGlQrKM:&tbnh=150&tbnw=101&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmike%2Badams%2Bpadres%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dcom.microsoft:*%26ndsp%3D20%26tbs%3Disch:1
Mike Adams. I wish he was the guy on the left in this picture, but he's not.
The question on most Giants' fans' minds is: how will we blow it this year?Most of us assume that it will involve Aaron Rowand or Barry Zito, but since Rowand never gets to play anymore, it's hard to see how he will be the one. That leaves Zito, the only Giants starter to lose in the last 2 weeks. Of course, there's always the chance an unlikely Giant will step in to deal the inevitable crushing blow. In 2003, for instance, a guy who had made roughly 2 errors in his entire career dropped a fly ball in the playoffs. In 2004, we gave up a playoff-hope-ending grand slam to 65 year old Steve Finley. And in 2002, we....oh, I can't even go there.
How will the Giants blow it this year?Vote for your favorite choice!
A) Barry Zito takes 6-0 lead into 5th inning of decisive game and walks 11 people in a row.
B) Giants load bases in bottom of 9th of decisive game with no outs and hit into a rare quadruple play
C) They just generally suck for the next 23 days and finish like 5 games out
D) I don't know, but it will somehow involve David Eckstein
Tonight: Giants vs. Padres. Clayton Richard vs. Jonathan Sanchez. Win = tie for first! Loss = Clayton Richard beats us for 8th time this month.