Day 8: First Place

Day 8: First Place
.5 games up in Division, tied for wild card

First place.
That's where winners go.
The Giants are winners.
As such, the Giants are in first place.
-Bucky Katt Paraphrased

Last night, a 1st place team beat the living crap out of a 4th place team. Nothing too fancy...the first place team hit 3 home runs, including a mammoth "you will all know my name!" shot from their rookie catcher and a "thank god, now I don't have to run after I hit the ball" shot from its aging right fielder.
The first place team's starting pitch...ok, I can't do this anymore. Guess what?? I'm talking about the Giants! Yeah! No, seriously, the whole "first place team" thing I was doing...that's the Giants! Yeah! Posey! Guillen! Giants! Gigantes! San-Fran-cis-co-Giiiiii-ants. Jonathan Sanchez had 12 k's! He even struck out Joe Torre and made him retire! He struck out Tommy Lasorda. He struck out Jackie Robinson. He struck out Pee Wee Reese AND Pee Wee Herman! The Giants are in first place! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Ahem.

Ok, so it gets better.
1) The Padres lost 4-0 to the Cardinals and looked BAD. They have 3 more games in St. Louis while...
2) We play the lame Brewers at home and
3) The Braves have to go to New York where the Mets are 41-27 (the Mets are 2-86 on the road).

Holy crap. We could do this. We could make the playoffs. And if we made the playoffs...
And our starting rotation was: Timmy, Cain, Sanchez
And maybe we'll get the Reds in the first round, and the Braves in the NLCS. And the Royals in the world series
And then...
And then...
Oh wait, this just in:
Albert Pujols ate bad sushi last night and has contracted a 72 hour bug that will cost him the rest of the Padres series. As such, the Cardinals will start a lineup consisting of 9 guys named Skip and Colby and the Padres will win the next three games by scores of 2 to 0, 1 to 0, and 0 to negative 1. David Eckstein will go 0 for 4 with 5 runs scored. And Mike Adams will do whatever it is that Mike Adams does when he's not invading Klingon territory.
Hold on, this just in:
The Mets really suck.
C'mon, Baseball Gods, can't I just have this one day? Just one? It's September, it's foggy, the Giants are in first place, and just for one day, can I dream about that parade down Market Street without having to worry about the absolute fact that something will go wrong to prevent it? Let me keep my dream. Tony Gwynn the 7th won't lead off the Padres-Cardinals game with an inside-the-park grand-slam for another two and a half hours or so. Let me have those 2 and a half hours. They belong to me, and Buster, and the Crazy Crab.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF2NH6XxyPFkcZqoLrigOv65Kre_IrrOVOye9mEjlunmGNdNj7dTm3W_DnwCygY4godr_yznVao0Bx6qfT1B7wr1hvfLRU74rMqlrheV48chNyD9i_izXDrpUSuLyMCLl5w7QoGjbggqA/s320/crazy_crab.jpg

Today's Poll Question If GMAIL wasn't being weird and not letting Andy post pictures into this email, which picture from this entry should he have posted?
A) Jonathan Sanchez striking out Pee Wee Herman
B) Mike Adams negotiating with Klingon admirals
C) A picture of the Mets sucking.
D) A Giants championship parade down Market Street

Actually, this trivia question could be thought of as "which of these is not fictional?"
And the answer, of course, would be:
http://www.nydailynews.com/blogs/touchingbase/300_thank-god.JPG