Monday, September 27, 2010

One Week Left: Here we go! Weeeeeeeeee!

7 Days Left
.5 games ahead in division, 1 game ahead in wild card
If I was going to recap all that has happened since I last wrote, it would be a long email, and if all you want is game recaps, you can go to espn.com, sort through 457 articles about the Manning Brothers and the Jets, and eventually find what you're looking for.
So here's my quick recap:
Friday: Big Timmy Slim Jim awesome. Brian Wilson gets Jason Giambi to end game. Win 2-1
Saturday: Typical Coors Field horrorfest. 9-6 lead in 7th evaporates. Rockies win on walk-off groundball. Loss 10-9
Sunday: Matt Cain almost throws no-hitter. Strikes out Jason Giambi to end game. Win 4-2
Yes. Jason Giambi's voodoo has officially been destroyed. A reverse hex on the Rockies' purple dinosaur who was standing behind home plate putting a hex on Matt Cain. Seriously.
I told Jamie and Collin about the Dinosaur hex thing last night and they told me I was a big baby and that if the Giants' mascot did that I'd think it was funny. But I'm not the only one who is complaining:
or from the Braves' blog:

I’m glad mvs brought up the stupid dinosaur behind the plate.

by ryantex on Aug 26, 2010 4:18 PM EDT reply actions

I hate that stupid thing..

..with an unreasonable hatred.

----

But I digress.

The Padres took 2 of 3 from the Reds, so we remain .5 games ahead. But the Braves continue to fall apart, losing 2 of 3 to the Nationals who have hilariously optimistic announcers, for what it's worth. It's like every day is opening day in Nationals Land and every pitcher is Stephen Strasburg, even if it's actually September, the Nats are 34 games out of first, Strasburg has Tommy John surgery on his eyeballs and the Nats are throwing out the corpse of Livan Hernandez (who is still pretty good, I admit) to pitch.

But I digress again.

So here we are. 1 week left. I don't really know how to feel about life. On the one hand, it's tough not to be optimistic...the Giants are playing well, they're at home, they're leading both races, their pitching is awesome, and the Rockies are pretty much goners. On the other hand, our leadoff hitter is dealing with "expanding scar tissue" on his stomach, our #2 hitter can hit but can't throw, the rules still prevent Buster Posey from batting in all 9 spots in the order, and, more than anything, we are still the San Francisco Giants.

Meanwhile, I am focused like a laser on the fact that the Giants should, but won't, switch Zito and Lincecum in the rotation so that Timmy pitches against the Padres Friday night. Why should they? Below the picture, I offer an indepth analysis:

dr-evil-laser1-1.jpg image by IRMacGuyver

In depth analysis:

1. Timmy is super duper good

2. Zito is super duper not good

3. We really need to beat the Padres.

Why won't they?

Because baseball teams just don't do stuff like that. They just don't. But I have a plan. I'm going to drive to Alabama or South Carolina or wherever Bruce Bochy's 146 year old mother lives and I'm going to inform her that if she doesn't tell her son to switch Timmy and Zito in the rotation, I'm going to bribe the county fair officials to strip her boysenberry jam of its 2009 first place ribbon.

See, that was just rude. Kind of anti-southern, even, which is not cool since I married a southerner. But this is what a Giants pennant race will do to you. It makes you crazy. It makes you think people are out to get you. It makes you irrationally angry at a giant purple dinosaur. It makes you want to hug Matt Cain (who is very huggable) but also Cody Ross (not as huggable) and maybe even Brian Wilson (a scratchy hug). It makes you go to ESPN.com and when you find out that your team has an 83% chance of making the playoffs, it makes you want to kill ESPN.com.

And tonight, it will make me sit on my couch, watching the Braves and Padres play, while the Giants rest their various ailments (Torres: stomach, Sanchez: shoulder, Zito: wallet engorgement) and, despite all the reasons for optimism, hold a pillow over my face while waiting for the Cubs and/or Marlins to do something stupid that will ruin everything.

At least the Rockies are done.

Or.

Are they?

Today's Poll Question: What is the name of that dinosaur?

A) Dino-Whino

B) Dinger

C) Pokey-mon.

D) Jason Giambi

Hey! A poll question with an actual correct answer! I feel this is progress, somehow.

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