Today might well be the last post of 2010, and what better way to end the greatest year in Giants history than by introducing the 1st Annual Marmol Awards. The awards are named after our favorite non-Giant, and will be held annually around this time. Next year my plan is for them to be completely democratic. But much like my mailbag, this year's version will just be me making some stuff up. That said, please do share your opinion by voting in the poll to the right. Happy New Year! Go Giants!
Game of the Year: NLDS Game 3
To me, as a long-suffering Giants fan, this game was the game. After blowing Game 2 and after Hinske's homerun in Game 3, with Sanchez (and thus the Giants) down to his last strike in the 9th, this felt like 2000, 2002, 2003 all over again. It was over. We had blown it. And then....a miracle. It was the first time I felt like this season might be different somehow.
Giant of the Year: Buster Posey
This is tough, actually. I could see a case for Brian Wilson. Or Waldis Joaquin. But Posey has to be the winner. Everything he did...it's just so...he's so...he didn't just handle the pitchers well, he made us question our collective sexual orientation. Even women. Because they were left thinking..."do I really want this 'man' I'm with? After all, if I can't have Posey, I might as well date women so I don't have to compare them unfavorably to Posey." This is what keeps me up at night: that my wife will start thinking this way.
Pitcher of the Year: Brian Wilson
Timmy was fantastic assuming you were vacationing on Mars in August. Cain was fantastic, but we can't well give him an award, can we? Better he be in the background, in the shadows, overlooked, underappreciated...yes, yes. What was incredible about Wilson is that at some point in the season he just decided to stop giving everyone a heart attack everytime he pitched and start dominating. Down the stretch and in the postseason, he was unreal. He saved the clinching game of the Division, the NLDS, the NLCS, and the World Series. He didn't allow an earned run in the postseason. And he was the face of the team, scary as that sounds. He also had, I've heard, too much awesome in his footwear.
Bad Guy of the Year: Cliff Lee
This was going to Mat Latos hands down until he and the Padres became irrelevent and no longer interesting. Cliff Lee didn't do anything wrong. It's more that he existed. It's more that the media talked up his invincibility and smugly talked about how he gave the Giants no chance as opposed to the NLCS when the Giants had, well, no chance. He represented the tired media story of Yankees, Yankees, Yankees followed by TeamThatBeatYankees. Being the underdog against the Phillies was obvious. But the odds given to the Rangers by ESPN and the like was silly and a little insulting. On paper, the Giants were a better team. Pitching beats hitting every time. Home field advantage. Vlad playing right field. C'mon.
Non-Giant of the Year: Carlos Marmol
That one was easy. He saved THREE games against the Padres in the final week of the season, and as it turns out, we won the division by two games. Give that man a ring and pour some champagne on his head.
Homerun of the Year: Edgar Renteria vs. Texas, Game 5 of WS
This one is tougher than you might think. Uribe's homerun in Game 6 of the NLCS was not only a series clincher as well, but that was a VERY loseable series at that point. We weren't coming back home, the Phillies were playing tough, and we only had a one game lead. Renteria, on the other hand, won Game 5 for us, but we still had two more chances if we'd lost and we would have been at home. But Renteria's homerun just transcends. It was a moment nobody will ever forget, except Pat Burrell who missed it because he was in the clubhouse at that moment breaking objects with his bat.
BEAT LA Moment of the Year: Uribe Homerun vs. Broxton
This was tough. Burrell's homerun off Broxton turned what looked like a sure loss into a win. Bochy calling out Mattingly and then the Giants rallying to win was awesome. But down 4-0 in the 7th inning in LA in early September, the homerun barrage that ensued was so unlikely and so inspiring that it tops all else. Posey went deep. Then Renteria. Then Burrell. Then, in the 9th, with one on, Uribe takes Broxton out to left center to give the Giants the lead. You notice how a lot of the Giants' best comebacks were on the road and how nobody ever mentions the bottom of the 9th in those games? Like the game was over after the Giants took the lead in the top half? See: "Pitcher of the Year."
Next year we'll expand to more categories. Maybe "lefty specialist of the year." Maybe "least exciting game of the year." Hopefully, "World Series walk-off homerun of the year." It'll be a close race between Adrian Beltre and Brandon Belt. I can dream. Because dreams come true. See: "Giants: 2010 World Series Champions."
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Today's Best Video and Link
I found this, strangely, on a Mariners fan blog, and it needs to be shared:
http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2010/10/21/1765161/some-thoughts-on-game-4-of-the-nlcs
And this video has somehow escaped YouTube/MLB copyright infringement. I haven't listened to the sound, so apologies if it's awful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUY4npjTekU
http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2010/10/21/1765161/some-thoughts-on-game-4-of-the-nlcs
And this video has somehow escaped YouTube/MLB copyright infringement. I haven't listened to the sound, so apologies if it's awful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUY4npjTekU
December Mailbag
It's a slow Wednesday, so I think I'll open up the old mailbag. You know, that wonderful feature of sports columnists wherein the best emails from readers are answered. Of course, I don't really get many emails from readers, so I think I'll just make some up.
Oh, and yes, the fact that this post is called "December Mailbag" means that this will have to become a monthly feature. Maybe by January I'll have actual emails.
You can email me at 24DaysOfMagic@gmail.com.
Why is your blog called 24 Days of Magic? Sounds like a corny documentary.
Well, I started writing anguished emails to a bunch of friends back when there were 24 days left in the season. Most of the emails consisted of me ranting about the fact that the Giants were inevitably going to miss the playoffs or, even worse (and that makes sense if you were a Giants fan before 2010), make the playoffs. The name was meant to be an ironic reference to the Giants marketing campaign, and also there were some kids and some coworkers on the emails and I couldn't well call them "24 Days of Horrid F$#%ing Torture."
I heard a rumor that the Giants are trading Rowand to the Phillies and then getting Jose Reyes from the Mets? That's crazy! Is it true?
I don't know for sure. I've heard that too. I think it's a good trade, though, and I really hope it happens.
I've been reading your stuff for a while now, and I have to say I think you're really knowledgeable. Your take on the various rotation and roster changes Bochy made during the post-season run were right on, and your off-season observations have been keen and insightful. Your references to VORP and UZR prove you really know your stuff. I look forward to hearing your take on the upcoming arbitration hearings for Ross, Torres, etc.
Thanks! That's really nice of you. Oh, but what's "arbitration"?
Do you ever make an obscure Harry Potter metaphor in one of your posts, sit back in your chair, read what you've written, and think: "Wow. I'm such a big nerd."?
Ouch. That hurts. I feel like I'm sitting in the Great Hall, enjoying my kippers and treacle tart, minding my own business, when suddenly an owl comes sweeping in over my head and drops a howler on my plate. I wish I knew some cool, non-nerdy way to respond to this insult. Unfortunately, I can't think of anything, so I'll have to just let it slide. Oh wait, I know...Protego!
If you were Brian Sabean, what would you do now?
First, I would continue to thank whatever God I believe in for allowing me to win a title despite my own ineptitude. I mean, Brian Sabean has an attractive wife and a world series ring and can call Buster Posey anytime he wants to ask him to come over and play Risk, while the good folks at "Fire-Sabean.com" have a giant heading on their website that says "Under Construction for obvious reasons." How is that fair??
Anyway, I would seriously go after Beltre as a shortstop, an idea that I came up with all on my own. Does that mean we will have wasted $6.5 million on Miguel Tejada? Uh, yeah. But this is the kind of move that sends a message that we're not messing around. I don't think the Giants need to do anything else to be right back in position to repeat. Belt and/or Sandoval plus a full year of Posey and Ross provide all the offensive upgrades we'll probably need. But Beltre would be a coup.
Then I would hammer out the arbitration deals without actually letting any of them go to the arbiter. And then I would trade Rowand to a team willing to pay half his salary.
That was MY idea to play Beltre at short.
Sorry, Seth. But you posted it on my blog, and that makes it my idea. Isn't that how blogs work? No? Well then how the hell am I going to become all powerful as was foretold by my prophecy in the Department of Mysteries?
I read your post about how you've seen Giants playoff highlights too many times and I have to say I think you're wrong, and I can prove it. I just got the official Giants DVD "The Magic Inside" for Christmas. Want to come over and watch?
What? Oh, damn. Yeah, I do. Can I bring anything? I've got Giants Peanut Butter Torture Ice Cream in the freezer...
I don't really read your blog much because baseball's not really my thing but I'm so proud of you for doing it!
Sigh. Thanks, Mom.
Oh, and yes, the fact that this post is called "December Mailbag" means that this will have to become a monthly feature. Maybe by January I'll have actual emails.
You can email me at 24DaysOfMagic@gmail.com.
Why is your blog called 24 Days of Magic? Sounds like a corny documentary.
Well, I started writing anguished emails to a bunch of friends back when there were 24 days left in the season. Most of the emails consisted of me ranting about the fact that the Giants were inevitably going to miss the playoffs or, even worse (and that makes sense if you were a Giants fan before 2010), make the playoffs. The name was meant to be an ironic reference to the Giants marketing campaign, and also there were some kids and some coworkers on the emails and I couldn't well call them "24 Days of Horrid F$#%ing Torture."
I heard a rumor that the Giants are trading Rowand to the Phillies and then getting Jose Reyes from the Mets? That's crazy! Is it true?
I don't know for sure. I've heard that too. I think it's a good trade, though, and I really hope it happens.
I've been reading your stuff for a while now, and I have to say I think you're really knowledgeable. Your take on the various rotation and roster changes Bochy made during the post-season run were right on, and your off-season observations have been keen and insightful. Your references to VORP and UZR prove you really know your stuff. I look forward to hearing your take on the upcoming arbitration hearings for Ross, Torres, etc.
Thanks! That's really nice of you. Oh, but what's "arbitration"?
Do you ever make an obscure Harry Potter metaphor in one of your posts, sit back in your chair, read what you've written, and think: "Wow. I'm such a big nerd."?
Ouch. That hurts. I feel like I'm sitting in the Great Hall, enjoying my kippers and treacle tart, minding my own business, when suddenly an owl comes sweeping in over my head and drops a howler on my plate. I wish I knew some cool, non-nerdy way to respond to this insult. Unfortunately, I can't think of anything, so I'll have to just let it slide. Oh wait, I know...Protego!
If you were Brian Sabean, what would you do now?
First, I would continue to thank whatever God I believe in for allowing me to win a title despite my own ineptitude. I mean, Brian Sabean has an attractive wife and a world series ring and can call Buster Posey anytime he wants to ask him to come over and play Risk, while the good folks at "Fire-Sabean.com" have a giant heading on their website that says "Under Construction for obvious reasons." How is that fair??
Anyway, I would seriously go after Beltre as a shortstop, an idea that I came up with all on my own. Does that mean we will have wasted $6.5 million on Miguel Tejada? Uh, yeah. But this is the kind of move that sends a message that we're not messing around. I don't think the Giants need to do anything else to be right back in position to repeat. Belt and/or Sandoval plus a full year of Posey and Ross provide all the offensive upgrades we'll probably need. But Beltre would be a coup.
Then I would hammer out the arbitration deals without actually letting any of them go to the arbiter. And then I would trade Rowand to a team willing to pay half his salary.
That was MY idea to play Beltre at short.
Sorry, Seth. But you posted it on my blog, and that makes it my idea. Isn't that how blogs work? No? Well then how the hell am I going to become all powerful as was foretold by my prophecy in the Department of Mysteries?
I read your post about how you've seen Giants playoff highlights too many times and I have to say I think you're wrong, and I can prove it. I just got the official Giants DVD "The Magic Inside" for Christmas. Want to come over and watch?
What? Oh, damn. Yeah, I do. Can I bring anything? I've got Giants Peanut Butter Torture Ice Cream in the freezer...
I don't really read your blog much because baseball's not really my thing but I'm so proud of you for doing it!
Sigh. Thanks, Mom.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Brooks Conrad Errors and Ice Cream: There Is Such Thing As Too Much
I had a very Giants Christmas. Below is a list of gifts I received:
-Giants WS Championship Christmas tree ornament
-Giants WS Championship T-Shirt
-Giants WS Championship Sweatshirt
-Giants/Rangers highlights DVD
-Giants WS Championship water bottle
-Orange shirt
-Buster Posey Jersey/T-shirt
Other family members got Buster Posey rookie cards, Giants commemorative DVDs, a Tim Lincecum jersey/t-shirt, and half of the other items listed above.
And my little baby was given multiple Red Sox items as I gritted my teeth and planned my strategy of indoctrination:
"Hey baby. Want to eat some of daddy's ice cream? Doesn't that taste good? Daddy likes ice cream because the Giants like ice cream. The Red Sox only like prune juice! Here! Try some prune juice!"
I watched the highlights DVD and then some bonus DVD material with my dad. Watching some of the regular season stuff was fun, but by the time we'd finished watching condensed highlights of each post-season win, I felt like the guy who goes to the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet and walks in telling himself and anyone else who will listen that he's going to make 7, 8, maybe 14 trips to the buffet line and then after about six egg rolls and three plates of fried unidentified meat in sweet and sour sauce, stumbles over to the food, picks up a pot sticker, smears it all over his face, and crumples to the floor mumbling unintelligibly.
You know, that guy.
I mean, I guess I've just seen the same highlights over and over too many times. Did you know that Juan Uribe hit an 8th inning homerun to win the NLCS? Yeah, and a walk-off sacfly! And Brian Wilson struckoutRyanHowardddddohgodpassthesoysauceandhotchilioilthisriceislikechalk.
I have a confession to make. After watching the DVD with my dad, I started to really feel sorry for Brooks Conrad. I started to wish him to field Buster Posey's 9th inning grounder. I slapped myself, but then immediately started justifying my treachery. "You know, the Giants could win it in extras! They could, you know, score a run or something in, maybe, the 13th?"
And then I remembered what October Me would have said to December Me:
"The 13th? THE !#$#$@# 13th? I'm dying here, sitting on my couch, my pillow over my face, my orange rally rag shredded from when I tried to rip it into two pieces when Hinske went deep, enduring this torturous crap, and you want me to sit through 4 more innings of this so you don't have to feel sorry for a man who makes hundreds of thousands of dollars playing baseball? You're dead to me, December Me."
I know. I know. But if...yeah, I know. You're right, October Me.
So I've now learned that there is another stage in the "team wins first title process." I think this is what I have so far:
1. Shock
2. Elation
3. Prolonged elation
4. Arrogance
5. Depression
6. Overwhelmed
7. Acceptance
8. Impatience
9. Too Much Ice Cream
I'm hoping the next step is:
10. Becoming incredibly wealthy off sale of Giants Christmas Tree Ornaments.
But I already know what step 10 will really be:
10. Staring at calendar waiting for April and realizing it's still not April and throwing calendar at co-workers and/or passersby and then resigning self to allowing self to be distracted by basketball.
Also by my new Wii. It's awesome. I'm going to create a Buster Posey Mii and then not use him. So, you know, he can rest during the offseason. And then I'm going to make a Pablo Sandoval Mii and buy Wii Fit.
I'm going to end this post now and maybe go watch NLDS Game 3 highlights on MLB.com.
Psst. Hey. Are you going to eat that Egg Roll? I thought I was full, but man, that looks good...
-Giants WS Championship Christmas tree ornament
-Giants WS Championship T-Shirt
-Giants WS Championship Sweatshirt
-Giants/Rangers highlights DVD
-Giants WS Championship water bottle
-Orange shirt
-Buster Posey Jersey/T-shirt
Other family members got Buster Posey rookie cards, Giants commemorative DVDs, a Tim Lincecum jersey/t-shirt, and half of the other items listed above.
And my little baby was given multiple Red Sox items as I gritted my teeth and planned my strategy of indoctrination:
"Hey baby. Want to eat some of daddy's ice cream? Doesn't that taste good? Daddy likes ice cream because the Giants like ice cream. The Red Sox only like prune juice! Here! Try some prune juice!"
I watched the highlights DVD and then some bonus DVD material with my dad. Watching some of the regular season stuff was fun, but by the time we'd finished watching condensed highlights of each post-season win, I felt like the guy who goes to the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet and walks in telling himself and anyone else who will listen that he's going to make 7, 8, maybe 14 trips to the buffet line and then after about six egg rolls and three plates of fried unidentified meat in sweet and sour sauce, stumbles over to the food, picks up a pot sticker, smears it all over his face, and crumples to the floor mumbling unintelligibly.
You know, that guy.
I mean, I guess I've just seen the same highlights over and over too many times. Did you know that Juan Uribe hit an 8th inning homerun to win the NLCS? Yeah, and a walk-off sacfly! And Brian Wilson struckoutRyanHowardddddohgodpassthesoysauceandhotchilioilthisriceislikechalk.
I have a confession to make. After watching the DVD with my dad, I started to really feel sorry for Brooks Conrad. I started to wish him to field Buster Posey's 9th inning grounder. I slapped myself, but then immediately started justifying my treachery. "You know, the Giants could win it in extras! They could, you know, score a run or something in, maybe, the 13th?"
And then I remembered what October Me would have said to December Me:
"The 13th? THE !#$#$@# 13th? I'm dying here, sitting on my couch, my pillow over my face, my orange rally rag shredded from when I tried to rip it into two pieces when Hinske went deep, enduring this torturous crap, and you want me to sit through 4 more innings of this so you don't have to feel sorry for a man who makes hundreds of thousands of dollars playing baseball? You're dead to me, December Me."
I know. I know. But if...yeah, I know. You're right, October Me.
So I've now learned that there is another stage in the "team wins first title process." I think this is what I have so far:
1. Shock
2. Elation
3. Prolonged elation
4. Arrogance
5. Depression
6. Overwhelmed
7. Acceptance
8. Impatience
9. Too Much Ice Cream
I'm hoping the next step is:
10. Becoming incredibly wealthy off sale of Giants Christmas Tree Ornaments.
But I already know what step 10 will really be:
10. Staring at calendar waiting for April and realizing it's still not April and throwing calendar at co-workers and/or passersby and then resigning self to allowing self to be distracted by basketball.
Also by my new Wii. It's awesome. I'm going to create a Buster Posey Mii and then not use him. So, you know, he can rest during the offseason. And then I'm going to make a Pablo Sandoval Mii and buy Wii Fit.
I'm going to end this post now and maybe go watch NLDS Game 3 highlights on MLB.com.
Psst. Hey. Are you going to eat that Egg Roll? I thought I was full, but man, that looks good...
Friday, December 24, 2010
Giants Close to Resigning Kruk/Kuip to Broadcast/Maybe Play Some Shortstop
Henry Schulman, who by the way I once drove to BART from a guest speaking appearance and he's very nice, is reporting that I am an excellent driver and that he would, indeed, let me drive slow in the driveway, definitely.
No, he's reporting that the Giants are close to resigning Mike Krukow and Duane Kuiper to six-year contracts that will carry them into their mid-60's. Or, as Vin Scully calls it, "the 1950's."
Hahaha. Get it? See, because....sorry.
This is definitely welcome news in Giants Land, where the pair are universally beloved except by my dad who thinks Krukow is a doofus. Giants fans seem to have an unusual affection for their announcers, either because they have good announcers (Jon Miller) or because for the past six years before this past season, it was either have an affection for the announcer or for Ray Durham and Dan Ortmeier.
My take is a little different from most. Nobody is better than Jon Miller, and not just because I did yoga with him in his home once. (True story. I have witnesses.) This year, anyone who was listening to the Giants-Marlins game in Miami in May and heard Jon pretend he was at a golf tournament (because it was so empty and quiet) knows that Jon Miller is the best. And Dave Fleming is fine, despite his choice of Alma mater.
With Kruk and Kuip, I don't feel the unbridled admiration that others do. I think they are funny, but I don't think "eliminating" people on TV is really that creative. "Grab some pine, meat," is a good line. Krukow doesn't seem to really add much outside of pitching knowledge. Overall, I like them and I'm glad they are Giants announcers but I'm not going to go crazy over them the way some Giants fans do.
But here's the thing. I have MLB Extra Innings at home. The Red Sox fans in my family demand it because the 48 times a year their team is on ESPN isn't enough for them. And let me tell you, compared to 95% of the announcers out there, Kruk and Kuip are fantastic.
There are the Nationals announcers who are peppy to the point of absurdity. The Rays announcers who sound like they are announcing a high school football game (I can't explain why they sound that way, but I promise you it's true). The White Sox yahoo who yells "you can put it on the boarddddddddddddd....YES! Good guys 4, Bad guys 2!" The Rockies announcers who...ok, there's probably nothing wrong with them, but they annoy me anyway because they go "Tulo! Cargo! Tulo! Cargo!" like every five seconds.
Announcing a baseball game is difficult, and Krukow and Kuiper are some of the best, even if they aren't even the best announcers for their own team.
So welcome back, guys. I look forward to hearing you tell Andre Ethier to grab some pine on opening day....meat.
No, he's reporting that the Giants are close to resigning Mike Krukow and Duane Kuiper to six-year contracts that will carry them into their mid-60's. Or, as Vin Scully calls it, "the 1950's."
Hahaha. Get it? See, because....sorry.
This is definitely welcome news in Giants Land, where the pair are universally beloved except by my dad who thinks Krukow is a doofus. Giants fans seem to have an unusual affection for their announcers, either because they have good announcers (Jon Miller) or because for the past six years before this past season, it was either have an affection for the announcer or for Ray Durham and Dan Ortmeier.
My take is a little different from most. Nobody is better than Jon Miller, and not just because I did yoga with him in his home once. (True story. I have witnesses.) This year, anyone who was listening to the Giants-Marlins game in Miami in May and heard Jon pretend he was at a golf tournament (because it was so empty and quiet) knows that Jon Miller is the best. And Dave Fleming is fine, despite his choice of Alma mater.
With Kruk and Kuip, I don't feel the unbridled admiration that others do. I think they are funny, but I don't think "eliminating" people on TV is really that creative. "Grab some pine, meat," is a good line. Krukow doesn't seem to really add much outside of pitching knowledge. Overall, I like them and I'm glad they are Giants announcers but I'm not going to go crazy over them the way some Giants fans do.
But here's the thing. I have MLB Extra Innings at home. The Red Sox fans in my family demand it because the 48 times a year their team is on ESPN isn't enough for them. And let me tell you, compared to 95% of the announcers out there, Kruk and Kuip are fantastic.
There are the Nationals announcers who are peppy to the point of absurdity. The Rays announcers who sound like they are announcing a high school football game (I can't explain why they sound that way, but I promise you it's true). The White Sox yahoo who yells "you can put it on the boarddddddddddddd....YES! Good guys 4, Bad guys 2!" The Rockies announcers who...ok, there's probably nothing wrong with them, but they annoy me anyway because they go "Tulo! Cargo! Tulo! Cargo!" like every five seconds.
Announcing a baseball game is difficult, and Krukow and Kuiper are some of the best, even if they aren't even the best announcers for their own team.
So welcome back, guys. I look forward to hearing you tell Andre Ethier to grab some pine on opening day....meat.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Can We Start a Baseless Rumor?
Yahoo Sports has a column on Adrian Beltre that lists the Giants as one of the teams who might be a good fit. No actual evidence or speculation that he is heading to SF to replace Pablo, just the thought that the Giants might be a place he could land if the Angels continue to fail miserably at signing free-agents.
I started to write a post entitled: "Adrian Beltre to the Giants?"
You know how it would have gone:
"Yahoo Sports is reporting that the Giants are one of the teams who may or may not be interested in signing Adrian Beltre."
And then somebody googles "Adrian Beltre: Giants" and my post shows up. Given that somebody from Eastern Europe googled "Humoris Cainis" and my post on Matt Cain was the first thing that Google spit out, I don't think this is an unreasonable possibility.
(Yes, that really happened. No, I do not know what Humoris Cainis means. I'm afraid to google it while at work. I'm afraid it will somehow result in a video of Rex Ryan's wife's feet.)
So somebody else tells their friend that Adrian Beltre could go to the Giants. And they post it on their blog. And soon ESPN is reporting that the blogosphere has been "lighting up" with Beltre to the Giants rumors. Sabean reads the ESPN article and calls Scott Boras. Etc. etc.
Too much power. I don't want to be responsible for that kind of rumor.
No, if we're going to start a rumor here on our humble little blog (with readership in over 20 countries, though mostly that was just my sister's friend who likes to travel), it's going to be a good rumor.
So here goes. After I post this, you can help the cause by spreading the rumor to your friends by email, facebook, twitter, owl...and remember, you're not starting some horrible rumor that's going to result in the slandering of some poor public figure. You're helping to start a rumor that could help lead the Giants back to the World Series. Let's do it!
Ahem.
"Multiple sources may or may not have possibly confirmed that the Giants, Mets, and Phillies are close to completing a three-way deal that would send SS Jose Reyes to the Giants, OF Aaron Rowand and P Dan Runzler to the Phillies, and low-level prospects and cash to the Mets. The deal is a cost-cutting move that may or may not have been the brainchild of brilliant New York GM Sandy Alderson. The Phillies get bullpen and outfield help and the Giants cut salary while upgrading at SS. One source who may or may not be an employee of one of the teams called the deal 'a sure thing.' ESPN has not picked up the story yet, but rumor has it that the reason for the network's hesitancy is that senior baseball writer Peter Gammons is possibly or once could have been the contact for the possible source who may or may not be working in one of the organizations' front offices and that Gammons might currently be vacationing in the South of Boston and is unavailable as his grandchild may or may not have thrown his blackberry into the toilet."
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to text my sister to tell her friend that next time she gets to an internet cafe in Kiev, she needs to google Reyes-Gammons-Toilet.
I started to write a post entitled: "Adrian Beltre to the Giants?"
You know how it would have gone:
"Yahoo Sports is reporting that the Giants are one of the teams who may or may not be interested in signing Adrian Beltre."
And then somebody googles "Adrian Beltre: Giants" and my post shows up. Given that somebody from Eastern Europe googled "Humoris Cainis" and my post on Matt Cain was the first thing that Google spit out, I don't think this is an unreasonable possibility.
(Yes, that really happened. No, I do not know what Humoris Cainis means. I'm afraid to google it while at work. I'm afraid it will somehow result in a video of Rex Ryan's wife's feet.)
So somebody else tells their friend that Adrian Beltre could go to the Giants. And they post it on their blog. And soon ESPN is reporting that the blogosphere has been "lighting up" with Beltre to the Giants rumors. Sabean reads the ESPN article and calls Scott Boras. Etc. etc.
Too much power. I don't want to be responsible for that kind of rumor.
No, if we're going to start a rumor here on our humble little blog (with readership in over 20 countries, though mostly that was just my sister's friend who likes to travel), it's going to be a good rumor.
So here goes. After I post this, you can help the cause by spreading the rumor to your friends by email, facebook, twitter, owl...and remember, you're not starting some horrible rumor that's going to result in the slandering of some poor public figure. You're helping to start a rumor that could help lead the Giants back to the World Series. Let's do it!
Ahem.
"Multiple sources may or may not have possibly confirmed that the Giants, Mets, and Phillies are close to completing a three-way deal that would send SS Jose Reyes to the Giants, OF Aaron Rowand and P Dan Runzler to the Phillies, and low-level prospects and cash to the Mets. The deal is a cost-cutting move that may or may not have been the brainchild of brilliant New York GM Sandy Alderson. The Phillies get bullpen and outfield help and the Giants cut salary while upgrading at SS. One source who may or may not be an employee of one of the teams called the deal 'a sure thing.' ESPN has not picked up the story yet, but rumor has it that the reason for the network's hesitancy is that senior baseball writer Peter Gammons is possibly or once could have been the contact for the possible source who may or may not be working in one of the organizations' front offices and that Gammons might currently be vacationing in the South of Boston and is unavailable as his grandchild may or may not have thrown his blackberry into the toilet."
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to text my sister to tell her friend that next time she gets to an internet cafe in Kiev, she needs to google Reyes-Gammons-Toilet.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Happy Birthday Mini (Girl) Me!
My baby is 1 today.
That's right, she's 1. Not "a year."
I had this argument with my wife the other day.
"I'm happy," I said, "because now I can just say she's 1."
"She's not 1."
"She's not?"
"You do it by months."
"Right, but she's not '12 months.' That'd be like somebody saying they are 'five foot twelve.'"
"Sure, so you say she's 'a year.'"
"I'm not saying that. She's 1."
I post this particular conversation not because it's interesting (it's not) but because I consider myself to have won it and I don't win disagreements with my wife often. I win disagreements with my wife about as often as the Giants win World Series'.
But that brings me to the point of this post, which is that it's my baby's birthday and that in the entire history of her entire life, only one team has won the World Series, and it's the Giants. Let me go further than that. Only one basketball team has won a Pac-Ten title since my baby was born, and it was Cal. They hadn't done that in 50 years. In the week after her birth, I won FOUR fantasy football leagues. Now, this last point raises two very good questions:
1) Why the hell were you in 4 fantasy football leagues?
2) Seriously? You won all 4? Dude, that's impressive.
I know. I am very impressive. As for the first question, I can only say that by the third trimester, my wife stopped being interesting and I was forced to entertain myself in my downtime between trips to the kitchen to make the aforementioned uninteresting wife roast beef and pickles sandwiches.
What is it like to live in a world in which only the Giants have won a World Series?
Only my baby (and a bunch of other babies who don't count) know the answer to this. But I'll tell you one thing; the 2010 season changed my baby's life forever.
See, the other members of my nuclear family are Red Sox fans. So when my wife got pregnant, we discussed what team the baby would root for, and agreed she'd probably end up an A's fan. Which is fine. When she was very little, after all, she laughed every time I chanted "Let's Go Oakland!" But then she also laughed when I chanted "Beat LA!" And also pretty much anytime anyone looked her in the eye and emitted verbal sounds.
But now....now she's a Giants fan. No question. I might post pictures later to prove it if I decide that my desire to show off how cute my baby is and how much she loves the Giants outweighs my desire not to have pictures of my daughter on the internet where any weirdo could see them. Tough call. And there are some real weirdos out there.
Anyway, last night, at 1:45am, I forgot to wish my baby happy birthday when she woke up crying (she's sick). But it was ok because I got to do it at 3:45 am.
"Happy Birthday," I said to her as I rocked her. "You know, it's because of you that the Giants won."
"Nah," she replied. "It was the pitching, and Cody Ross."
I was so tired, I didn't really notice, but that was probably some sort of important baby moment. I should ask my wife if they start speaking in complete sentences when, you know, they turn "a year."
That's right, she's 1. Not "a year."
I had this argument with my wife the other day.
"I'm happy," I said, "because now I can just say she's 1."
"She's not 1."
"She's not?"
"You do it by months."
"Right, but she's not '12 months.' That'd be like somebody saying they are 'five foot twelve.'"
"Sure, so you say she's 'a year.'"
"I'm not saying that. She's 1."
I post this particular conversation not because it's interesting (it's not) but because I consider myself to have won it and I don't win disagreements with my wife often. I win disagreements with my wife about as often as the Giants win World Series'.
But that brings me to the point of this post, which is that it's my baby's birthday and that in the entire history of her entire life, only one team has won the World Series, and it's the Giants. Let me go further than that. Only one basketball team has won a Pac-Ten title since my baby was born, and it was Cal. They hadn't done that in 50 years. In the week after her birth, I won FOUR fantasy football leagues. Now, this last point raises two very good questions:
1) Why the hell were you in 4 fantasy football leagues?
2) Seriously? You won all 4? Dude, that's impressive.
I know. I am very impressive. As for the first question, I can only say that by the third trimester, my wife stopped being interesting and I was forced to entertain myself in my downtime between trips to the kitchen to make the aforementioned uninteresting wife roast beef and pickles sandwiches.
What is it like to live in a world in which only the Giants have won a World Series?
Only my baby (and a bunch of other babies who don't count) know the answer to this. But I'll tell you one thing; the 2010 season changed my baby's life forever.
See, the other members of my nuclear family are Red Sox fans. So when my wife got pregnant, we discussed what team the baby would root for, and agreed she'd probably end up an A's fan. Which is fine. When she was very little, after all, she laughed every time I chanted "Let's Go Oakland!" But then she also laughed when I chanted "Beat LA!" And also pretty much anytime anyone looked her in the eye and emitted verbal sounds.
But now....now she's a Giants fan. No question. I might post pictures later to prove it if I decide that my desire to show off how cute my baby is and how much she loves the Giants outweighs my desire not to have pictures of my daughter on the internet where any weirdo could see them. Tough call. And there are some real weirdos out there.
Anyway, last night, at 1:45am, I forgot to wish my baby happy birthday when she woke up crying (she's sick). But it was ok because I got to do it at 3:45 am.
"Happy Birthday," I said to her as I rocked her. "You know, it's because of you that the Giants won."
"Nah," she replied. "It was the pitching, and Cody Ross."
I was so tired, I didn't really notice, but that was probably some sort of important baby moment. I should ask my wife if they start speaking in complete sentences when, you know, they turn "a year."
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
My Greatest Fear: The 2014 Mariners. Seriously.
Things are good in Giants land, these days. We won the World Series. Our team is almost entirely intact for its title defense. Fourteen teams have won a world series more recently than the Dodgers. Powerful East Coast juggernauts are desperately trying to keep up. And also we won the World Series.
By the way, you shouldn't click on that hyperlink above on the word "almost." What's that? Too late? I'm really, really sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Did you throw up on your keyboard? Let me clean that up for you. I'm really sorry. Do you have, like, a wet rag? I'm so, so sorry. What did you eat for lunch, by the way?
So yes, there are some things we could genuinely fear. The Phillies, sure. Yawn. The Pad...oh, never mind. Freak injuries to our star players. A league-wide ban on players named "Buster." A realignment that sends the Giants and Phillies to the AL East and the Orioles and Blue Jays to the National League. Jason Giambi.
But after watching the news the past few days, I have a greater fear. The 2014 Mariners. Allow me to explain.
Tim Lincecum is here through 2013 assuming we want him to be. Let's take a vote. All in favor? Ok, great. But then he's a free-agent and, much like Cliff Lee, will be looking to sign a long-term deal that will take him through the remainder of his prime. Of course early on we all assumed this would mean the Giants would be competing with the Yankees or Red Sox. But after watching Timmy in action, I don't feel that will be the case.
Timmy is, let's just say, a laid back guy. Can you really see him as a Yankee? I think he likes San Francisco. But that's not where he just bought a house.
That would be Seattle.
And he just attended an NFL game and hoisted a flag during a pre-game ceremony. But not for the Niners.
Again. Seattle.
In 2014, the Mariners will have exactly one player still under contract from the current team, and that's Felix Hernandez. Think they won't make Timmy a big offer? Think they aren't clearing payroll space just for him? Think they aren't going to offer to put a Timmy wig on the Space Needle?
I suddenly really, really dislike the Mariners.
Think about the supposed best-case scenario here. The Giants win the next three championships and Timmy, bored, decides to bolt for Seattle to try to bring his hometown its first ever title.
Or the worst-case scenario. The Giants fail to return to glory over the next three seasons and Timmy, disgruntled, heads for greener pastures. Never mind that they are only greener because it rains so much. Still, technically, greener.
What Giants fans have to hope for is that the Mariners sign a bunch of really bad players to really big contracts over the next few years. Maybe Kosuke Fukudome to an 8 year, $93 million deal. Or that the Mariners win one title between now and 2014. Or that Seattle falls into the ocean, but not during the off-season because then Timmy would fall into the ocean with it. Can't have that.
I have succeeded in convincing myself that Timmy to Seattle is now inevitable.
Oh well.
At least we could exercise the club option on Zito that year. He'll be, what, 45?
I think I need a wet rag.
By the way, you shouldn't click on that hyperlink above on the word "almost." What's that? Too late? I'm really, really sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Did you throw up on your keyboard? Let me clean that up for you. I'm really sorry. Do you have, like, a wet rag? I'm so, so sorry. What did you eat for lunch, by the way?
So yes, there are some things we could genuinely fear. The Phillies, sure. Yawn. The Pad...oh, never mind. Freak injuries to our star players. A league-wide ban on players named "Buster." A realignment that sends the Giants and Phillies to the AL East and the Orioles and Blue Jays to the National League. Jason Giambi.
But after watching the news the past few days, I have a greater fear. The 2014 Mariners. Allow me to explain.
Tim Lincecum is here through 2013 assuming we want him to be. Let's take a vote. All in favor? Ok, great. But then he's a free-agent and, much like Cliff Lee, will be looking to sign a long-term deal that will take him through the remainder of his prime. Of course early on we all assumed this would mean the Giants would be competing with the Yankees or Red Sox. But after watching Timmy in action, I don't feel that will be the case.
Timmy is, let's just say, a laid back guy. Can you really see him as a Yankee? I think he likes San Francisco. But that's not where he just bought a house.
That would be Seattle.
And he just attended an NFL game and hoisted a flag during a pre-game ceremony. But not for the Niners.
Again. Seattle.
In 2014, the Mariners will have exactly one player still under contract from the current team, and that's Felix Hernandez. Think they won't make Timmy a big offer? Think they aren't clearing payroll space just for him? Think they aren't going to offer to put a Timmy wig on the Space Needle?
I suddenly really, really dislike the Mariners.
Think about the supposed best-case scenario here. The Giants win the next three championships and Timmy, bored, decides to bolt for Seattle to try to bring his hometown its first ever title.
Or the worst-case scenario. The Giants fail to return to glory over the next three seasons and Timmy, disgruntled, heads for greener pastures. Never mind that they are only greener because it rains so much. Still, technically, greener.
What Giants fans have to hope for is that the Mariners sign a bunch of really bad players to really big contracts over the next few years. Maybe Kosuke Fukudome to an 8 year, $93 million deal. Or that the Mariners win one title between now and 2014. Or that Seattle falls into the ocean, but not during the off-season because then Timmy would fall into the ocean with it. Can't have that.
I have succeeded in convincing myself that Timmy to Seattle is now inevitable.
Oh well.
At least we could exercise the club option on Zito that year. He'll be, what, 45?
I think I need a wet rag.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Staring Out The Window, Waiting For April
Yesterday I watched Field of Dreams. God, I love that movie.
"America has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But Baseball has remained constant. People will come, Ray. People will most definitely come."
Goosebumps.
Anyway, something new struck me this time, which is amazing since I've seen the movie about 40 times. It's the scene where the ground is covered with snow and there's a shot of Kevin Costner wearing a red sweater, obviously at a christmas party he and his wife are hosting, sitting by the window, staring out at the field.
You and me both, Kevin.
See, my family is really into christmas; it's what you get when you marry a goy. But not just that. I mean, my family is REALLY into christmas. My house looks like a Norwegian antique shop. My baby has, for instance, already attempted to eat three reindeer, four santas, two snowmen, and at least a dozen elves. She's also had a stocking holder fall on her head, at which point we immediately cheered her up by showing her the singing "moose" that is mounted on the wall near our front door. It's the one that sings "Santa Clause is coming to town" as opposed to the stuffed "moose" we have who sings "Grandma got run over by a reindeer." They're technically reindeer, I guess. But they look like, um, like, uh...shoot...mooses? Meese?
I go along with it, mostly because it's fun, but also because all I got is Dreidel (which, c'mon, let's be honest, pretty much sucks) and the "let's see which Hannukah candle burns the fastest" game which, like an NBA game, is only interesting for the last 30 seconds. So a hostile religious takeover would reduce the amount of fun had by all. No good.
Anyway, what I'm getting at here is that christmas is great, but I feel like Kevin Costner when he's staring out that window. I just want it to be baseball season again. How much longer? C'mon, already! Everything else (yes, including the birth of our savior) is just filler. I guess this is better than not having an off-season because then we'd never miss baseball, but it's driving me crazy.
So, for those of you who feel this way too, I've got some fun "christmas" games for you.
Everytime somebody opens a present, bust out with a simulated "call" from a playoff game.
"Ooh, Daddy! Can I open this one?"
"Sure, Billy!"
"Oh, look, it's a new iphone app!"
"Two strikes on Sanchez. Kimbrel looks Ishikawa back, and throws, and Sanchez swings and lines one up the middle...base hit! The Giants are still alive! Ishikawa to second and Huff will bat!"
(Awkward silence.)
"Open that one next, Billy. It's an iBike."
Everytime somebody spills food or drink at dinner, yell "Brooks Conrad! Brooks Conrad!"
Especially if it's your in-laws.
Ask for nothing but the Giants World Series DVD for christmas and then force your family to spend christmas afternoon watching it with you.
This isn't really a "game" per se. But I plan on "playing" it.
Tis the season. Sigh.
Only 101 more days...
"America has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But Baseball has remained constant. People will come, Ray. People will most definitely come."
Goosebumps.
Anyway, something new struck me this time, which is amazing since I've seen the movie about 40 times. It's the scene where the ground is covered with snow and there's a shot of Kevin Costner wearing a red sweater, obviously at a christmas party he and his wife are hosting, sitting by the window, staring out at the field.
You and me both, Kevin.
See, my family is really into christmas; it's what you get when you marry a goy. But not just that. I mean, my family is REALLY into christmas. My house looks like a Norwegian antique shop. My baby has, for instance, already attempted to eat three reindeer, four santas, two snowmen, and at least a dozen elves. She's also had a stocking holder fall on her head, at which point we immediately cheered her up by showing her the singing "moose" that is mounted on the wall near our front door. It's the one that sings "Santa Clause is coming to town" as opposed to the stuffed "moose" we have who sings "Grandma got run over by a reindeer." They're technically reindeer, I guess. But they look like, um, like, uh...shoot...mooses? Meese?
I go along with it, mostly because it's fun, but also because all I got is Dreidel (which, c'mon, let's be honest, pretty much sucks) and the "let's see which Hannukah candle burns the fastest" game which, like an NBA game, is only interesting for the last 30 seconds. So a hostile religious takeover would reduce the amount of fun had by all. No good.
Anyway, what I'm getting at here is that christmas is great, but I feel like Kevin Costner when he's staring out that window. I just want it to be baseball season again. How much longer? C'mon, already! Everything else (yes, including the birth of our savior) is just filler. I guess this is better than not having an off-season because then we'd never miss baseball, but it's driving me crazy.
So, for those of you who feel this way too, I've got some fun "christmas" games for you.
Everytime somebody opens a present, bust out with a simulated "call" from a playoff game.
"Ooh, Daddy! Can I open this one?"
"Sure, Billy!"
"Oh, look, it's a new iphone app!"
"Two strikes on Sanchez. Kimbrel looks Ishikawa back, and throws, and Sanchez swings and lines one up the middle...base hit! The Giants are still alive! Ishikawa to second and Huff will bat!"
(Awkward silence.)
"Open that one next, Billy. It's an iBike."
Everytime somebody spills food or drink at dinner, yell "Brooks Conrad! Brooks Conrad!"
Especially if it's your in-laws.
Ask for nothing but the Giants World Series DVD for christmas and then force your family to spend christmas afternoon watching it with you.
This isn't really a "game" per se. But I plan on "playing" it.
Tis the season. Sigh.
Only 101 more days...
Mota Back
ESPN is reporting that reliever Guillermo Mota will compete for a job in the Giants' bullpen out of spring training.
The Giants figure to have either 11 or 12 pitchers on the roster, which means Mota is facing an uphill climb.
With five starters set, the Giants will have either 6 or 7 relievers and spots are pretty much guaranteed for Wilson, Romo, Lopez, and Affeldt. That leaves either 2 or 3 spots for Casilla, Ramon Ramirez, Runzler, and Mota, and most projections would leave Mota 4th on that list.
Maybe we can package Mota and Aaron Rowand for, say, this guy.
The Giants figure to have either 11 or 12 pitchers on the roster, which means Mota is facing an uphill climb.
With five starters set, the Giants will have either 6 or 7 relievers and spots are pretty much guaranteed for Wilson, Romo, Lopez, and Affeldt. That leaves either 2 or 3 spots for Casilla, Ramon Ramirez, Runzler, and Mota, and most projections would leave Mota 4th on that list.
Maybe we can package Mota and Aaron Rowand for, say, this guy.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Zach Greinke to the....Brewers?
This off-season continues to amaze.
If this off-season was a new girlfriend, she would text you before your 2nd date to ask if the restaurant you're taking her to that night is fancy or not.
"Why?" you would ask.
"Because I need to know whether to wear my new low-cut dress or my Tim Lincecum jersey."
If this off-season was a Christmas present it would be a gift shaped exactly like a DVD but when you open it, it would be a blank DVD box with two plane tickets to Hawaii stuck inside.
Adrian Gonzalez leaves the division
Jayson Werth signs with a non-contender
Carl Crawford stays in the American League
Cliff Lee spurns the Yankees....yes, this could be bad for the Giants, but at the same time, the Phillies got worse in an area they needed help (offense) and better in an area where they didn't need help (boring white guys who pitch well).
And now Zach Greinke is dealt, not to the Yankees or Rangers or Cardinals or some other team that won more than 75ish games last season, but to the Brewers.
The media is shocked. Was anyone talking up this potential Greinke-to-the-Brewers thing before it happened? Nobody saw Lee or Werth coming and Crawford was a minor shock. What's next? Is Adrian Beltre going to play in Japan?
I'm going to really regret this post when we play Milwaukee in the first round of the playoffs, the Phillies in the NLCS, and the Red Sox in the World Series, and then the Nationals in the Post-World-Series commemorative softball game. And then the Chiba Lotte Marines in the International Cup.
If this off-season was a new girlfriend, she would text you before your 2nd date to ask if the restaurant you're taking her to that night is fancy or not.
"Why?" you would ask.
"Because I need to know whether to wear my new low-cut dress or my Tim Lincecum jersey."
If this off-season was a Christmas present it would be a gift shaped exactly like a DVD but when you open it, it would be a blank DVD box with two plane tickets to Hawaii stuck inside.
Adrian Gonzalez leaves the division
Jayson Werth signs with a non-contender
Carl Crawford stays in the American League
Cliff Lee spurns the Yankees....yes, this could be bad for the Giants, but at the same time, the Phillies got worse in an area they needed help (offense) and better in an area where they didn't need help (boring white guys who pitch well).
And now Zach Greinke is dealt, not to the Yankees or Rangers or Cardinals or some other team that won more than 75ish games last season, but to the Brewers.
The media is shocked. Was anyone talking up this potential Greinke-to-the-Brewers thing before it happened? Nobody saw Lee or Werth coming and Crawford was a minor shock. What's next? Is Adrian Beltre going to play in Japan?
I'm going to really regret this post when we play Milwaukee in the first round of the playoffs, the Phillies in the NLCS, and the Red Sox in the World Series, and then the Nationals in the Post-World-Series commemorative softball game. And then the Chiba Lotte Marines in the International Cup.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Giants 3rd in CNNSI PreSeason Power Rankings
The East Coast Media continues to miss the fact that our offense will improve by virtue of having Buster Posey for an extra two months. Also, no references to Belt. But hey.
We're 3rd.
Rockies 8th.
Dodgers 15th.
Padres 17th
I can live with that.
See the full thing here.
We're 3rd.
Rockies 8th.
Dodgers 15th.
Padres 17th
I can live with that.
See the full thing here.
Renteria Offended By Offer of $1million Per Intact Bicep Muscle
From numerous sources, in this case quoted in Yahoo Sports:
"That offer from the Giants was a lack of respect. A total disrespect," Renteria told ESPNdeportes.com Thursday from Colombia.
The offer was $1 million.
This is hard for me, because Renteria's homerun was somewhere between "wedding" and "college graduation" on the list of greatest moments of my life.
But I get it. He hit the biggest homerun in the history of the team. He was World Series MVP. He is offended that he would receive $5.5 million less than Miguel Tejada when he is clearly a better player than Tejada when he isn't sitting in a bucket of ice in the trainer's room, and sometimes he's a better player even when he is sitting in a bucket of ice in the trainer's room.
I get it. I really do.
No, wait, I don't. Because here's the thing. We already paid him all the money he's worth times ten! Over the last two years, we paid Edgar Renteria almost $20,000,000 to do not much of anything. He was constantly hurt. He played badly. Now we offer him exactly what he's worth and he feels disrespected.
Here's the contract offer I would make to Edgar Renteria:
$500,000 for every 40 games played. $500,000 for every 400 points of OPS per season.
Over the last two years, his grand total salary by this standard would be:
$4 million.
So how about this, Edgar:
We won't ask for the $16 million you owe us if you sign for $1 million and ignore the fact that even though you were playing with only one bicep muscle last year, you STILL had better numbers than Miguel Tejada.
Deal?
No?
Ok, well then go have fun playing for the Marlins.
"That offer from the Giants was a lack of respect. A total disrespect," Renteria told ESPNdeportes.com Thursday from Colombia.
The offer was $1 million.
This is hard for me, because Renteria's homerun was somewhere between "wedding" and "college graduation" on the list of greatest moments of my life.
But I get it. He hit the biggest homerun in the history of the team. He was World Series MVP. He is offended that he would receive $5.5 million less than Miguel Tejada when he is clearly a better player than Tejada when he isn't sitting in a bucket of ice in the trainer's room, and sometimes he's a better player even when he is sitting in a bucket of ice in the trainer's room.
I get it. I really do.
No, wait, I don't. Because here's the thing. We already paid him all the money he's worth times ten! Over the last two years, we paid Edgar Renteria almost $20,000,000 to do not much of anything. He was constantly hurt. He played badly. Now we offer him exactly what he's worth and he feels disrespected.
Here's the contract offer I would make to Edgar Renteria:
$500,000 for every 40 games played. $500,000 for every 400 points of OPS per season.
Over the last two years, his grand total salary by this standard would be:
$4 million.
So how about this, Edgar:
We won't ask for the $16 million you owe us if you sign for $1 million and ignore the fact that even though you were playing with only one bicep muscle last year, you STILL had better numbers than Miguel Tejada.
Deal?
No?
Ok, well then go have fun playing for the Marlins.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Open Letter To The Los Angeles Dodgers
To: Los Angeles Dodgers
Dodger Stadium
1000 Elysian Park Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90012
To Whom It May Concern:
(Note: Please do not rip this letter down the middle and give half to Frank McCourt's laywers and half to Jamie McCourt's lawyers. While that may be your instinct in these difficult times, it would render this letter very difficult to read. Thanks!)
I am writing on behalf of 24 Days of Magic, a brand new blog all about the San Francisco Giants, who you may have noticed finished several spots ahead of you in the division last year. "Several", by the way, is usually used to mean more than two, which in this case is accurate. This differentiates us from the Padres who finished "a couple" spots ahead of you and the Rockies who finished just "one" spot ahead of you.
Recently, our blog polled its readers to find out which NL West team they disliked the most. Well, we have good news and bad news. The good news is, the Dodgers finally won something! The bad news is, well, I'm sure you can figure it out. Yes, a full 76% of our readers chose you as their least favorite NL West team. This is despite the fact that I personally voted for the Rockies twice just to make it more interesting. Pretty sad, I know, voting twice in your own poll, and for something you don't even believe in. I'm sorry. But Dodgers, if you ever start a blog, you'll understand. You just want so badly for it to succeed. You don't want it to end up a failure, with an imploding bullpen and a suddenly mediocre lineup and a catcher with a sub .550 OPS.
Anyway, I don't mean to be mean. Some of our readers informed me of their reasons for disliking you and I realize that many of those reasons are without reason. In other words, "I hate the Dodgers because they are the Dodgers." I know that doesn't seem fair. I know that if some other NL West team had won, the reasons might have been more specific. I know you guys don't cheat like the Rockies, or have a pool in right field like Arizona, or no fans who don't wear hats with the names of aircraft carriers on them like the Padres. You DO have some real fans. They sit in the bleachers. So again, I'm sorry if your feelings are hurt.
We felt very forgiving toward you after we won the world series (were you watching?). But then you stole Juan Uribe and kidnapped Eugenio Velez and tied him to your bench before he could reach Pittsburgh and actually get a chance to play. I think that contributed a lot to your "win."
That, and one other thing:
You're the Dodgers.
Best wishes for your continued enjoyment of your exceptionally long off-season,
24 Days of Magic
Dodger Stadium
1000 Elysian Park Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90012
To Whom It May Concern:
(Note: Please do not rip this letter down the middle and give half to Frank McCourt's laywers and half to Jamie McCourt's lawyers. While that may be your instinct in these difficult times, it would render this letter very difficult to read. Thanks!)
I am writing on behalf of 24 Days of Magic, a brand new blog all about the San Francisco Giants, who you may have noticed finished several spots ahead of you in the division last year. "Several", by the way, is usually used to mean more than two, which in this case is accurate. This differentiates us from the Padres who finished "a couple" spots ahead of you and the Rockies who finished just "one" spot ahead of you.
Recently, our blog polled its readers to find out which NL West team they disliked the most. Well, we have good news and bad news. The good news is, the Dodgers finally won something! The bad news is, well, I'm sure you can figure it out. Yes, a full 76% of our readers chose you as their least favorite NL West team. This is despite the fact that I personally voted for the Rockies twice just to make it more interesting. Pretty sad, I know, voting twice in your own poll, and for something you don't even believe in. I'm sorry. But Dodgers, if you ever start a blog, you'll understand. You just want so badly for it to succeed. You don't want it to end up a failure, with an imploding bullpen and a suddenly mediocre lineup and a catcher with a sub .550 OPS.
Anyway, I don't mean to be mean. Some of our readers informed me of their reasons for disliking you and I realize that many of those reasons are without reason. In other words, "I hate the Dodgers because they are the Dodgers." I know that doesn't seem fair. I know that if some other NL West team had won, the reasons might have been more specific. I know you guys don't cheat like the Rockies, or have a pool in right field like Arizona, or no fans who don't wear hats with the names of aircraft carriers on them like the Padres. You DO have some real fans. They sit in the bleachers. So again, I'm sorry if your feelings are hurt.
We felt very forgiving toward you after we won the world series (were you watching?). But then you stole Juan Uribe and kidnapped Eugenio Velez and tied him to your bench before he could reach Pittsburgh and actually get a chance to play. I think that contributed a lot to your "win."
That, and one other thing:
You're the Dodgers.
Best wishes for your continued enjoyment of your exceptionally long off-season,
24 Days of Magic
Various "News"
On a day when Yahoo Sports reported such gems as: "Dustin Pedroia tests out bad ankle in mad dash to catch plane," there is still, amazingly, news to report. Sort of.
Edgar Renteria Still Not Sure:
Renteria is deciding between offers from the Marlins and Giants (where he won championships) and the Cardinals (where he reached the world series but lost). The Marlins and Cardinals are probably offering more money and more years than the Giants, who are offering Edgar the chance to be a backup to a guy with a .692 ops. He's still deciding. He's still considering taking less money to play less. So either he really wants to win and that John Buck signing didn't convince him of Florida's resurgence, or he really, really, really likes that Thai restaurant on Geary.
McCovey Chronicles Makes Funny Joke, But I Don't Get It:
The following headline was posted on McCovey Chronicles the other day:
Dodgers Sign Eugenio Velez: MLB Rumors
Ned Colletti confirmed the deal as he was eating dinner with his mother, Angela Lansbury.
I laughed out loud when I read it...it struck me as really, really funny. But I don't get it. Isn't that weird how something can be funny but you don't get it? Can somebody help me? Is it Coletti's stache?
Andres Torres is Even More Loveable Than We Thought:
A new documentary is coming out about Andres Torres and his life story, including his battle with ADHD. The story is posted on SFGiants.com, and features the following quotes:
"I came from a poor family. But it doesn't matter. What matters is what's in your heart."
"It's about giving kids hope and never giving up," Torres said of the film project. "You have to keep working hard. I want to be something positive, especially for kids with ADD. It's a message for the kids."
And, the best line of all:
"(Torres) was raised in Aguada, Puerto Rico, where he, a brother and a sister frequently occupied themselves by pulling yams from the earth. Torres developed sprinter's speed despite not even having shoes for many years."
He occupied himself by pulling yams from the earth? Can you top that? This reminds me of the Daily Show episode when Stephen Colbert is imitating politicians talking about their humble beginnings and tells Jon Stewart that his grandfather was a "Turd Miner."
"Yes, up at the crack of dawn, and then down into the hole," Colbert said. "But that's life in the turd-belt, Jon."
He pulled yams from the earth! Before opening day, Torres should run out to center field and dig a yam out of the ground, hold it up over his head in triumph, and then auction it to raise money to fight childhood ADD. That ceremony would have the added bonus of giving Andre Ethier more time to do his hair.
Russell Martin Becomes Possibly Less Likeable:
Our good buddy Russell Martin was pretty easy to dislike as a Dodger. Now that he's a Yankee, he may be even less likeable. That's pretty amazing. Meanwhile, the Dodgers signed Dioner Navarro to replace him. Navarro is, in fact, a major league catcher. After Martin left, the Dodgers didn't have one of those, so this counts as a positive development for the folks in Northern Orange County. Last year, his ops was .528.
Edgar Renteria Still Not Sure:
Renteria is deciding between offers from the Marlins and Giants (where he won championships) and the Cardinals (where he reached the world series but lost). The Marlins and Cardinals are probably offering more money and more years than the Giants, who are offering Edgar the chance to be a backup to a guy with a .692 ops. He's still deciding. He's still considering taking less money to play less. So either he really wants to win and that John Buck signing didn't convince him of Florida's resurgence, or he really, really, really likes that Thai restaurant on Geary.
McCovey Chronicles Makes Funny Joke, But I Don't Get It:
The following headline was posted on McCovey Chronicles the other day:
Dodgers Sign Eugenio Velez: MLB Rumors
Ned Colletti confirmed the deal as he was eating dinner with his mother, Angela Lansbury.
I laughed out loud when I read it...it struck me as really, really funny. But I don't get it. Isn't that weird how something can be funny but you don't get it? Can somebody help me? Is it Coletti's stache?
Andres Torres is Even More Loveable Than We Thought:
A new documentary is coming out about Andres Torres and his life story, including his battle with ADHD. The story is posted on SFGiants.com, and features the following quotes:
"I came from a poor family. But it doesn't matter. What matters is what's in your heart."
"It's about giving kids hope and never giving up," Torres said of the film project. "You have to keep working hard. I want to be something positive, especially for kids with ADD. It's a message for the kids."
And, the best line of all:
"(Torres) was raised in Aguada, Puerto Rico, where he, a brother and a sister frequently occupied themselves by pulling yams from the earth. Torres developed sprinter's speed despite not even having shoes for many years."
He occupied himself by pulling yams from the earth? Can you top that? This reminds me of the Daily Show episode when Stephen Colbert is imitating politicians talking about their humble beginnings and tells Jon Stewart that his grandfather was a "Turd Miner."
"Yes, up at the crack of dawn, and then down into the hole," Colbert said. "But that's life in the turd-belt, Jon."
He pulled yams from the earth! Before opening day, Torres should run out to center field and dig a yam out of the ground, hold it up over his head in triumph, and then auction it to raise money to fight childhood ADD. That ceremony would have the added bonus of giving Andre Ethier more time to do his hair.
Russell Martin Becomes Possibly Less Likeable:
Our good buddy Russell Martin was pretty easy to dislike as a Dodger. Now that he's a Yankee, he may be even less likeable. That's pretty amazing. Meanwhile, the Dodgers signed Dioner Navarro to replace him. Navarro is, in fact, a major league catcher. After Martin left, the Dodgers didn't have one of those, so this counts as a positive development for the folks in Northern Orange County. Last year, his ops was .528.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Giants Announce Victory Lap
The following email showed up in my inbox today, right under an invitation to send my bank account info to an impoverished Mongolian taxi driver who left $3,000,000 USA DOLLAR$ at his mother-in law's house only to find out that she used it to buy a Yak.
WORLD CHAMPION TROPHY TOUR PRESENTED BY VISA
The San Francisco Giants will launch a public tour of the World Champions trophy in early January. The Trophy will travel throughout Northern California, Southern Oregon and Western Nevada. It will also travel to New York and Arizona.
"For more than 52 years, our dedicated fans have supported us through thick and thin," said Giants Managing General Partner and CEO Bill Neukom. "The trophy belongs to them as much as it belongs to us and we want to extend the World Champions celebration throughout Giants country and to thank our fans."
Ok, Northern California is great. And we definitely dominate Southern Oregon and its many inhabitant(s). Western Nevada, same thing. We own Reno, Wells, and Battle Mountain. But New York and Arizona? I hope we're bringing security. Are they going to announce the parade route ahead of time?
I mean, imagine you're a Mets fan. What chance do you have to touch the World Series trophy anytime in the next century or so? Hijacking our parade might be your one opportunity. I hope Neukom is packing heat, or at least brings a bodyguard or seven.
Arizona makes sense in that we play spring training there and there are probably lots of Giants fans who moved to the desert to avoid paying taxes or because they enjoy being asked daily if they have "their papers." But it's also the home of a division rival. Can you imagine if the Dodgers took the trophy on a tour through San Francisco? There are tons of Dodger fans up here. They moved here from Los Angeles because they wanted to avoid accidentally running into Spencer Pratt. So what's the difference? And if we're going to take the trophy through Arizona, why not Denver, San Diego, and LA? Why not flip the bird to the rest of the league the right way? Hey, how about a stop in Philly? There are some nice folks there who really need to see the trophy.
I'm reminded of the old Native American saying:
"When Adrian Beltre is the biggest free agent left on the market, there is little to discuss on one's blog."
So true, that.
WORLD CHAMPION TROPHY TOUR PRESENTED BY VISA
The San Francisco Giants will launch a public tour of the World Champions trophy in early January. The Trophy will travel throughout Northern California, Southern Oregon and Western Nevada. It will also travel to New York and Arizona.
"For more than 52 years, our dedicated fans have supported us through thick and thin," said Giants Managing General Partner and CEO Bill Neukom. "The trophy belongs to them as much as it belongs to us and we want to extend the World Champions celebration throughout Giants country and to thank our fans."
Ok, Northern California is great. And we definitely dominate Southern Oregon and its many inhabitant(s). Western Nevada, same thing. We own Reno, Wells, and Battle Mountain. But New York and Arizona? I hope we're bringing security. Are they going to announce the parade route ahead of time?
I mean, imagine you're a Mets fan. What chance do you have to touch the World Series trophy anytime in the next century or so? Hijacking our parade might be your one opportunity. I hope Neukom is packing heat, or at least brings a bodyguard or seven.
Arizona makes sense in that we play spring training there and there are probably lots of Giants fans who moved to the desert to avoid paying taxes or because they enjoy being asked daily if they have "their papers." But it's also the home of a division rival. Can you imagine if the Dodgers took the trophy on a tour through San Francisco? There are tons of Dodger fans up here. They moved here from Los Angeles because they wanted to avoid accidentally running into Spencer Pratt. So what's the difference? And if we're going to take the trophy through Arizona, why not Denver, San Diego, and LA? Why not flip the bird to the rest of the league the right way? Hey, how about a stop in Philly? There are some nice folks there who really need to see the trophy.
I'm reminded of the old Native American saying:
"When Adrian Beltre is the biggest free agent left on the market, there is little to discuss on one's blog."
So true, that.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Phillies Sign Cliff Lee, Declare War on Giants
(Note: I found out AFTER I wrote and thought this posting that Ray Ratto wrote something almost identical. So when you see his article, don't think ill of him. He didn't steal it from me.)
Last night, I was watching Monday Night Football with my wife and baby when the news flashed on the screen that the Yankees would not get Cliff Lee. Well, actually that last sentence isn't completely accurate. My wife was actually reading and looked up at the game only long enough to agree with me that Houston Texans coach Gary Kubiak looks exactly like he should be named Gary Kubiak.
My baby wasn't watching the game either. She was putting her toys on the ground in front of me, waiting for me to pick them up, laughing hysterically every time I did, and then repeating. My baby is easily more entertaining than a Brian Wilson interview.
Anyway, Jamie and I were thrilled to see the Yankees whiff on Lee. My wife, after all, is a Red Sox fan and while I am not a Red Sox fan, I am still human. But then something else popped up on the screen:
"Phillies are other team pursuing Lee, AP reports."
My first thought I kept to myself because we try not to swear in front of the baby (which is why I kept that pillow over my face during the playoffs). My second thought was similar, but more interesting: This move is designed to do one thing: Beat the Giants.
Think about it.
Two years ago, the Phillies won the world series with Cole Hamels as their best pitcher. The following year they picked up Lee at the deadline and lost to the Yankees in the series. That offseason, Philly made a huge and controversial move by trading for Roy Halladay but sending Lee to Seattle in the process. Why not keep both of them? There seem to be really only three explanations:
1) Philly believed they needed to replenish the farm system and wanted the prospects they got from the Mariners
2) Philly believed they couldn't afford to keep both pitchers
3) Philly didn't want to be TOO good and hurt the feelings of other National League teams.
Option 1 is believable and was the company line. The Phillies had to give up prospects to get Halladay. But make no mistake, the Phillies knew their window to win was now. They clearly believed they could win it all with Hamels and Halladay, so trading Lee was an act of arrogance if anything. When they sputtered in the first half due to injuries, they traded for Oswalt. Now surely they could win.
But in the end, their fate was sealed when they faced a team that simply pitched better than they did. Hard to believe given how good Philly's Big 3 was, but the Giants had better starters and a clearly superior bullpen. The Phillies, down 2-1 on the road and knowing they were going to face Lincecum, Sanchez, Cain in games 5-7, sent Joe Blanton to the mound in game 4. He didn't make it through the 5th.
The Phillies aren't worried about any other team in their division, not with Oswalt around for a full season. They aren't worried about the American League (even the suddenly scary Red Sox trot out a pretty average pitching staff). They are worried about four things only.
Him. Him. Him. And him. Probably not him.
(Ha, you thought that last one was going to be Zito, didn't you?)
The Phillies thought they were unbeatable, and found out that they only way they could be beaten was by lights-out pitching and some pixie dust. They watched Madison Bumgarner keep Texas from getting a baserunner to 2nd base in the World Series and saw that their window of opportunity to win was about to collide with the Giants' window. And they acted.
Do the Giants still have the better bullpen? Yes.
Do they still have better starting pitching? No.
So Giants fans, while this is really bad news, honestly, it's also a compliment. To say the Phillies broke the bank is an understatement. This is a team that will be paying Ryan Howard $25 million in 2016. They will have a payroll close to $170 million this year. Next year they will be paying Joe Blanton and Shane Victorino a combined $20 million. Cole Hamels hits arbitration and a big pay day after this season. They will lose Jimmy Rollins and Raul Ibanez and either need to resign them or replace them. Their window is now, but they'll be paying Cliff Lee more than $20 million four and five years from now.
The good news: The Giants went 5-2 in the playoffs against Halladay, Lee, Oswalt, and Hamels.
The other good news: We're definitely the underdogs again.
Because while they may be more likeable and still not quite as rich, make no mistake: The Phillies are now officially the National League Yankees.
Last night, I was watching Monday Night Football with my wife and baby when the news flashed on the screen that the Yankees would not get Cliff Lee. Well, actually that last sentence isn't completely accurate. My wife was actually reading and looked up at the game only long enough to agree with me that Houston Texans coach Gary Kubiak looks exactly like he should be named Gary Kubiak.
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My baby wasn't watching the game either. She was putting her toys on the ground in front of me, waiting for me to pick them up, laughing hysterically every time I did, and then repeating. My baby is easily more entertaining than a Brian Wilson interview.
Anyway, Jamie and I were thrilled to see the Yankees whiff on Lee. My wife, after all, is a Red Sox fan and while I am not a Red Sox fan, I am still human. But then something else popped up on the screen:
"Phillies are other team pursuing Lee, AP reports."
My first thought I kept to myself because we try not to swear in front of the baby (which is why I kept that pillow over my face during the playoffs). My second thought was similar, but more interesting: This move is designed to do one thing: Beat the Giants.
Think about it.
Two years ago, the Phillies won the world series with Cole Hamels as their best pitcher. The following year they picked up Lee at the deadline and lost to the Yankees in the series. That offseason, Philly made a huge and controversial move by trading for Roy Halladay but sending Lee to Seattle in the process. Why not keep both of them? There seem to be really only three explanations:
1) Philly believed they needed to replenish the farm system and wanted the prospects they got from the Mariners
2) Philly believed they couldn't afford to keep both pitchers
3) Philly didn't want to be TOO good and hurt the feelings of other National League teams.
Option 1 is believable and was the company line. The Phillies had to give up prospects to get Halladay. But make no mistake, the Phillies knew their window to win was now. They clearly believed they could win it all with Hamels and Halladay, so trading Lee was an act of arrogance if anything. When they sputtered in the first half due to injuries, they traded for Oswalt. Now surely they could win.
But in the end, their fate was sealed when they faced a team that simply pitched better than they did. Hard to believe given how good Philly's Big 3 was, but the Giants had better starters and a clearly superior bullpen. The Phillies, down 2-1 on the road and knowing they were going to face Lincecum, Sanchez, Cain in games 5-7, sent Joe Blanton to the mound in game 4. He didn't make it through the 5th.
The Phillies aren't worried about any other team in their division, not with Oswalt around for a full season. They aren't worried about the American League (even the suddenly scary Red Sox trot out a pretty average pitching staff). They are worried about four things only.
Him. Him. Him. And him. Probably not him.
(Ha, you thought that last one was going to be Zito, didn't you?)
The Phillies thought they were unbeatable, and found out that they only way they could be beaten was by lights-out pitching and some pixie dust. They watched Madison Bumgarner keep Texas from getting a baserunner to 2nd base in the World Series and saw that their window of opportunity to win was about to collide with the Giants' window. And they acted.
Do the Giants still have the better bullpen? Yes.
Do they still have better starting pitching? No.
So Giants fans, while this is really bad news, honestly, it's also a compliment. To say the Phillies broke the bank is an understatement. This is a team that will be paying Ryan Howard $25 million in 2016. They will have a payroll close to $170 million this year. Next year they will be paying Joe Blanton and Shane Victorino a combined $20 million. Cole Hamels hits arbitration and a big pay day after this season. They will lose Jimmy Rollins and Raul Ibanez and either need to resign them or replace them. Their window is now, but they'll be paying Cliff Lee more than $20 million four and five years from now.
The good news: The Giants went 5-2 in the playoffs against Halladay, Lee, Oswalt, and Hamels.
The other good news: We're definitely the underdogs again.
Because while they may be more likeable and still not quite as rich, make no mistake: The Phillies are now officially the National League Yankees.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Breaking (My Heart) News: Eugenio Velez. Dodger.
This one makes me sad. If this was any team other than the Dodgers, I'd feel like I'm going on vacation and leaving my kitten or puppy at home with a neighbor.
"Dear (insert team here):
Thank you for taking Eugenio. Please make sure you remind him that sometimes the pitcher throws the ball slower than usual and he can't always swing the same speed. Please remind him that if he gets on base, the pitcher might try to throw the ball to the base he's on and get him out instead of pitching. That can be very scary, so please don't forget. And also please make sure he sits behind the screen in the dugout because one time he got absolutely drilled with a foul ball and for several months afterwards he couldn't remember his birthday and when the doctors asked him what the capitol of Canada was, he said: "Moose City." Also if he says he wants to play outfield, please be careful. He doesn't always remember to catch the ball. Same with infield. Oh, and help yourself to anything in the fridge.
Thanks again,
The Giants."
But since it's the Dodgers, the analogy falls apart. Instead, the letter would be:
"Dear A-Holes:
I hope he sucks as much for you as he did for us. Stop stealing our players. Your team is still terrible.
Sincerely,
The World Champion Giants"
"Dear (insert team here):
Thank you for taking Eugenio. Please make sure you remind him that sometimes the pitcher throws the ball slower than usual and he can't always swing the same speed. Please remind him that if he gets on base, the pitcher might try to throw the ball to the base he's on and get him out instead of pitching. That can be very scary, so please don't forget. And also please make sure he sits behind the screen in the dugout because one time he got absolutely drilled with a foul ball and for several months afterwards he couldn't remember his birthday and when the doctors asked him what the capitol of Canada was, he said: "Moose City." Also if he says he wants to play outfield, please be careful. He doesn't always remember to catch the ball. Same with infield. Oh, and help yourself to anything in the fridge.
Thanks again,
The Giants."
But since it's the Dodgers, the analogy falls apart. Instead, the letter would be:
"Dear A-Holes:
I hope he sucks as much for you as he did for us. Stop stealing our players. Your team is still terrible.
Sincerely,
The World Champion Giants"
And you thought we were joking...
See new poll at right.
We're working on our letter to the Dodgers informing them of their glorious "victory".
In the meantime, keep sending me emails about why you hate the Dodgers, or post in the comments section below. Best responses will be included in the letter to Frank McCourt.
We're working on our letter to the Dodgers informing them of their glorious "victory".
In the meantime, keep sending me emails about why you hate the Dodgers, or post in the comments section below. Best responses will be included in the letter to Frank McCourt.
Two hours left to vote in NL West Poll
Can the Rockies come back from a 16-vote deficit with two hours to go?
They would do that, wouldn't they...
They would do that, wouldn't they...
Saturday, December 11, 2010
NLCS Game 4 "Live" Right Now on CSNBA
Watching this now, after everything we know, is just weird.
Casilla just hung a slider and Polanco slammed it for a two-run double.
Damn!
I hope Bochy has Uribe pinch-hit in the 9th...
Casilla just hung a slider and Polanco slammed it for a two-run double.
Damn!
I hope Bochy has Uribe pinch-hit in the 9th...
2011 Lineup Variations
For the sake of making this post easier to digest (but not by you, Pablo!), let's make the following assumptions:
1. Pablo Sandoval has a spring training somewhere in between his 2009 and 2010 campaigns.
2. Brandon Belt is given the 1B job and Huff is moved to the outfield.
3. Buster Posey beats out Eli Whiteside for the catcher job.
4. Cody Ross is given the starting job and Pat Burrell is left to platoon and be the 4th outfielder
5. Mark DeRosa, until proven healthy, is treated as a super-sub.
6. The Hanley Ramirez for Aaron Rowand trade falls through.
As such, I would predict the following lineup:
1. Torres CF
2. Sanchez 2B
3. Huff LF
4. Posey C
5. Ross RF
6. Sandoval 3B
7. Tejada SS
8. Belt 1B
Here's my problem with this:
a) Sanchez really doesn't get on base enough to bat 2nd.
b) Posey is not a cleanup hitter, honestly.
c) It's all nice to say we're going to bat Brandon Belt 8th to keep the pressure off him, but who are we kidding? This guy's a stud.
So let's make a lineup based on how we want the team to be, not how we're afraid it might be or what worked last year when we were in the playoffs worrying about winning one game. Let's make a lineup that represents the future. Here's what I think that looks like:
1. Torres CF
2. Posey C
3. Belt 1B
4. Huff LF
5. Sandoval 3B
6. Ross RF
7. Sanchez 2B
8. Tejada SS
Or when Cain pitches:
8. Cain P
9. Tejada SS
What good is Tony LaRussa if we can't steal one of his two good ideas? (his other good idea is don't beat up your pet when you have a bad day at work)
Now, there's another thought, which is to bat the lineup by age, youngest to oldest:
1. Belt
2. Posey
3. Sandoval
4. Ross
5. Torres
6. Sanchez
7. Huff
8. Tejada
That's actually not that bad. Hmmm.
I'm looking at these names and I can't help but feel optimistic. Keep in mind some of our 2010 lineups.
Opening Day, for instance, featured John Bowker, Renteria, DeRosa, and Molina.
On April 20th, a 1-0 loss to the Padres, of course, we trotted out Velez in the leadoff spot, Whiteside at catcher, Bowker in left, and Schierholtz in right. Molina pinch-ran. No, wait, I think I read that wrong. Molina pinch-hit. That makes more sense.
How would you do the lineup? Post your choices below in the comment section.
And then check out this lineup, from Opening Day 2008, and rest easy knowing that none of the options above are really that bad.
1. Pablo Sandoval has a spring training somewhere in between his 2009 and 2010 campaigns.
2. Brandon Belt is given the 1B job and Huff is moved to the outfield.
3. Buster Posey beats out Eli Whiteside for the catcher job.
4. Cody Ross is given the starting job and Pat Burrell is left to platoon and be the 4th outfielder
5. Mark DeRosa, until proven healthy, is treated as a super-sub.
6. The Hanley Ramirez for Aaron Rowand trade falls through.
As such, I would predict the following lineup:
1. Torres CF
2. Sanchez 2B
3. Huff LF
4. Posey C
5. Ross RF
6. Sandoval 3B
7. Tejada SS
8. Belt 1B
Here's my problem with this:
a) Sanchez really doesn't get on base enough to bat 2nd.
b) Posey is not a cleanup hitter, honestly.
c) It's all nice to say we're going to bat Brandon Belt 8th to keep the pressure off him, but who are we kidding? This guy's a stud.
So let's make a lineup based on how we want the team to be, not how we're afraid it might be or what worked last year when we were in the playoffs worrying about winning one game. Let's make a lineup that represents the future. Here's what I think that looks like:
1. Torres CF
2. Posey C
3. Belt 1B
4. Huff LF
5. Sandoval 3B
6. Ross RF
7. Sanchez 2B
8. Tejada SS
Or when Cain pitches:
8. Cain P
9. Tejada SS
What good is Tony LaRussa if we can't steal one of his two good ideas? (his other good idea is don't beat up your pet when you have a bad day at work)
Now, there's another thought, which is to bat the lineup by age, youngest to oldest:
1. Belt
2. Posey
3. Sandoval
4. Ross
5. Torres
6. Sanchez
7. Huff
8. Tejada
That's actually not that bad. Hmmm.
I'm looking at these names and I can't help but feel optimistic. Keep in mind some of our 2010 lineups.
Opening Day, for instance, featured John Bowker, Renteria, DeRosa, and Molina.
On April 20th, a 1-0 loss to the Padres, of course, we trotted out Velez in the leadoff spot, Whiteside at catcher, Bowker in left, and Schierholtz in right. Molina pinch-ran. No, wait, I think I read that wrong. Molina pinch-hit. That makes more sense.
How would you do the lineup? Post your choices below in the comment section.
And then check out this lineup, from Opening Day 2008, and rest easy knowing that none of the options above are really that bad.
| San Francisco Giants | ab | r | h | rbi |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Roberts lf | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Velez 2b | 4 | 1 | 1 | 0 |
| Rowand cf | 3 | 2 | 1 | 0 |
| Molina c | 4 | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| Lewis rf | 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 |
| Castillo 3b | 4 | 0 | 1 | 0 |
| Aurilia 1b | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Yabu p | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Durham ph | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Taschner p | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Wilson p | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Walker p | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Winn ph | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Bocock ss | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Cain p | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Ortmeier 1b | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Totals | 31 | 4 | 6 | 3 |
Friday, December 10, 2010
ESPN Back On Our Good Side
Word from the Chronicle is that ESPN and MLB are attempting to switch the season opening game between the Giants and Dodgers from Los Angeles to San Francisco.
They would play one game here, then finish the series in LA and then swap a later game from SF to LA.
The reasoning is that the Giants hanging their world series banner at home on national TV makes better television than just a random Giants-Dodgers game in LA (which we will now call "Northern Orange County" for fun).
So it's a Friday afternoon now, but I want you to close your eyes and picture yourself on Monday morning next week. It's December. It's raining. It's cold. The Warriors suck. The Niners suck. The Raiders suck less than usual but still won't make the playoffs. Cal basketball is rebuilding. Obama is lowering taxes for billionaires. And you're tired.
But now picture this.
It's March 31st.
You turn on the TV.
The Giants are raising a championship banner over AT&T park.
43,000 fans are waving orange rally rags.
Timmy strikes out Furcal on a changeup in the dirt.
Timmy strikes out Kemp looking on a curveball.
Timmy strikes out Ethier on a high fastball.
BEAT LA! BEAT LA! resounds across the park like rolling thunder.
Total bliss.
They would play one game here, then finish the series in LA and then swap a later game from SF to LA.
The reasoning is that the Giants hanging their world series banner at home on national TV makes better television than just a random Giants-Dodgers game in LA (which we will now call "Northern Orange County" for fun).
So it's a Friday afternoon now, but I want you to close your eyes and picture yourself on Monday morning next week. It's December. It's raining. It's cold. The Warriors suck. The Niners suck. The Raiders suck less than usual but still won't make the playoffs. Cal basketball is rebuilding. Obama is lowering taxes for billionaires. And you're tired.
But now picture this.
It's March 31st.
You turn on the TV.
The Giants are raising a championship banner over AT&T park.
43,000 fans are waving orange rally rags.
Timmy strikes out Furcal on a changeup in the dirt.
Timmy strikes out Kemp looking on a curveball.
Timmy strikes out Ethier on a high fastball.
BEAT LA! BEAT LA! resounds across the park like rolling thunder.
Total bliss.
Breaking News: Yahoo Incorrectly Reports Sandoval's Weight Loss
Two pounds? Please.
According to Brian Sabean, Pablo has lost 15 pounds since the end of the season (courtesy of John Shea's twitter page).
In other news, we are now introducing the Pablo Pound-O-Meter. Check it out.
According to Brian Sabean, Pablo has lost 15 pounds since the end of the season (courtesy of John Shea's twitter page).
In other news, we are now introducing the Pablo Pound-O-Meter. Check it out.
Yahoo Sports Calls Giants "Losers," 24 Days of Magic Responds
Yesterday Yahoo Sports celebrated the close of winter meetings by labeling various teams, players, and even agents as "winners" or "losers."
The Giants, they said, were "losers."
"The heady buzz of a World Series championship seems to have the Giants believing they can bring back that ol’ gang of theirs and win again. Maybe they’ve forgotten how fortunate they were to win it all without much offense. Re-signing Aubrey Huff was fine, but bringing back Pat Burrell and signing the all-but washed up Miguel Tejada to replace Juan Uribe and Edgar Renteria were questionable moves. The Giants still need a bat, and although Bochy is hopeful Pablo Sandoval fills the bill by returning to 2009 form, the best he could report was that Kung Fu Panda had lost all of two pounds."
When the Giants won the world series, part of me knew baseball would never be as fun again. We would never really be underdogs again. We would never have cosmic justice on our side. But now I'm starting to see how this might be wrong. The baseball world's response to our championship was "oh, that was cute." Nobody takes us seriously as a defending champion. Bring it.
1. Yahoo, how, exactly, is paying Pat Burrell $1 million a questionable move? He hit 18 home runs for us last year, not bad given he didn't play with us for the first two months of the year. He slugged over .500 and drew a ton of walks. He was a clubhouse leader. And we're paying him $16 million less than the Yankees are paying for a guy who slugged .370.
2. Granted about Tejada, but not about the offense in general. The difference between Uribe and Tejada is miniscule when you factor in two extra months of Buster Posey and Burrell, four extra months of Cody Ross, and the possibility of a healthy Pablo Sandoval. And then there's the possibility of Brandon Belt, not that Yahoo has heard of him.
3. How dare you imply that Pablo losing two pounds is not a worthy accomplishment. Two pounds is a big deal! Last year, the only time Panda lost weight was when he burped. And now he's worked hard, HARD, to lose two pounds and it's only been a month since the end of the season! There are two more months to go! So at this rate, by opening day, he will have lost....hold on...carry the 5......48 pounds.
Yahoo is just a worse version of both google and ESPN.
The Giants, on the other hand, are WORLD CHAMPIONS.
The Giants, they said, were "losers."
"The heady buzz of a World Series championship seems to have the Giants believing they can bring back that ol’ gang of theirs and win again. Maybe they’ve forgotten how fortunate they were to win it all without much offense. Re-signing Aubrey Huff was fine, but bringing back Pat Burrell and signing the all-but washed up Miguel Tejada to replace Juan Uribe and Edgar Renteria were questionable moves. The Giants still need a bat, and although Bochy is hopeful Pablo Sandoval fills the bill by returning to 2009 form, the best he could report was that Kung Fu Panda had lost all of two pounds."
When the Giants won the world series, part of me knew baseball would never be as fun again. We would never really be underdogs again. We would never have cosmic justice on our side. But now I'm starting to see how this might be wrong. The baseball world's response to our championship was "oh, that was cute." Nobody takes us seriously as a defending champion. Bring it.
1. Yahoo, how, exactly, is paying Pat Burrell $1 million a questionable move? He hit 18 home runs for us last year, not bad given he didn't play with us for the first two months of the year. He slugged over .500 and drew a ton of walks. He was a clubhouse leader. And we're paying him $16 million less than the Yankees are paying for a guy who slugged .370.
2. Granted about Tejada, but not about the offense in general. The difference between Uribe and Tejada is miniscule when you factor in two extra months of Buster Posey and Burrell, four extra months of Cody Ross, and the possibility of a healthy Pablo Sandoval. And then there's the possibility of Brandon Belt, not that Yahoo has heard of him.
3. How dare you imply that Pablo losing two pounds is not a worthy accomplishment. Two pounds is a big deal! Last year, the only time Panda lost weight was when he burped. And now he's worked hard, HARD, to lose two pounds and it's only been a month since the end of the season! There are two more months to go! So at this rate, by opening day, he will have lost....hold on...carry the 5......48 pounds.
Yahoo is just a worse version of both google and ESPN.
The Giants, on the other hand, are WORLD CHAMPIONS.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
BREAKING NEWS: Giants Offer Renteria Insanely Sane Contract
Henry Schulman of the Chronicle is reporting that the Giants are offering Renteria about $1 million per year to be the team's backup SS.
No word yet on whether or not Renteria will accept, as he's still considering the Marlins, Cardinals, and Eric Byrnes' softball team.
If Renteria joined, it's unclear who would lose his spot on the roster as we would then have almost 30 players competing for 25 spots.
No word yet on whether or not Renteria will accept, as he's still considering the Marlins, Cardinals, and Eric Byrnes' softball team.
If Renteria joined, it's unclear who would lose his spot on the roster as we would then have almost 30 players competing for 25 spots.
The Transaction Wire
You know what I'm talking about...it's in the back of the sports page, under the NHL standings and to the left of the fishing report.
Ah, the transaction wire. In this era of crazy contracts and desperate GMs, it makes a fool of all of us.
Arizona
Agreed to two-year multi-million dollar contract with a man named "Putz."
Atlanta
Offered to pay Pittsburgh 5 million dollars if Pittsburgh would agree to take Atlanta's Japanese pitcher away and never bring him back
Chicago
Signed .198 hitter to $10 million contract.
Cincinnati
No transactions. Note: The last time the Reds won a playoff game, Buster Posey was 7 years old.
Colorado
Signed mulletted-hitter to contract that runs through 2020; includes clause for buy-out in event of Mayan end times fulfillment preceeding termination of said contract
Signed average pitcher to two-year $21 million deal, thus underbidding other teams
Florida
Traded all-star 2nd baseman with power to division rival in exchange for journeyman infielder and middle reliever.
Houston
No transactions. Note: Houston was 76-86 last season
Los Angeles
Signed aging infielder with below-average OBP to 3-year, $21 million deal despite infielder's inability to produce valid birth certificate from his filing cabinet
Milwaukee
No transactions. Note: Milwaukee was 77-85 last season
New York
No transactions. Note: New York was 18-144 last season
Philadelphia
Failed to come to terms with free-agent outfielder Jayson Werth
Re-signed allegedly 39-year old pitcher Jose Contreras to multi-year deal
Pittsburgh
Failed to come to terms with free-agent outfielder Barry Bonds.
San Diego
Failed to come to terms with homegrown super-star face-of-the-franchise Adrian Gonzalez.
Failed to come to terms with ESPN4 on proposed Hairston reality show
San Francisco
Agreed to $6.5 million contract with aging shortstop with sub .700 OPS.
Traded OF Aaron Rowand to the Marlins for SS Hanley Ramirez
St. Louis
Agreed to terms with Google Inc. to call team "The St. Louis Googles" in order to save enough money for looming Albert Pujols free agency.
Washington
Signed bearded 32-year old to 7-year, $126 million contract.
Placed P Stephen Strasburg on 538 day DL
Cried
Ah, the transaction wire. In this era of crazy contracts and desperate GMs, it makes a fool of all of us.
Arizona
Agreed to two-year multi-million dollar contract with a man named "Putz."
Atlanta
Offered to pay Pittsburgh 5 million dollars if Pittsburgh would agree to take Atlanta's Japanese pitcher away and never bring him back
Chicago
Signed .198 hitter to $10 million contract.
Cincinnati
No transactions. Note: The last time the Reds won a playoff game, Buster Posey was 7 years old.
Colorado
Signed mulletted-hitter to contract that runs through 2020; includes clause for buy-out in event of Mayan end times fulfillment preceeding termination of said contract
Signed average pitcher to two-year $21 million deal, thus underbidding other teams
Florida
Traded all-star 2nd baseman with power to division rival in exchange for journeyman infielder and middle reliever.
Houston
No transactions. Note: Houston was 76-86 last season
Los Angeles
Signed aging infielder with below-average OBP to 3-year, $21 million deal despite infielder's inability to produce valid birth certificate from his filing cabinet
Milwaukee
No transactions. Note: Milwaukee was 77-85 last season
New York
No transactions. Note: New York was 18-144 last season
Philadelphia
Failed to come to terms with free-agent outfielder Jayson Werth
Re-signed allegedly 39-year old pitcher Jose Contreras to multi-year deal
Pittsburgh
Failed to come to terms with free-agent outfielder Barry Bonds.
San Diego
Failed to come to terms with homegrown super-star face-of-the-franchise Adrian Gonzalez.
Failed to come to terms with ESPN4 on proposed Hairston reality show
San Francisco
Agreed to $6.5 million contract with aging shortstop with sub .700 OPS.
Traded OF Aaron Rowand to the Marlins for SS Hanley Ramirez
St. Louis
Agreed to terms with Google Inc. to call team "The St. Louis Googles" in order to save enough money for looming Albert Pujols free agency.
Washington
Signed bearded 32-year old to 7-year, $126 million contract.
Placed P Stephen Strasburg on 538 day DL
Cried
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Freddy Sanchez Has Surgery On Non-Throwing Shhhhzzzzzz
It's pretty obvious that I picked the right season to write a daily Giants blog. I also picked the wrong off-season.
One minute we're trying to figure out whether Carl Crawford will bat before or after Brandon Belt, and then suddenly Huff signs, Burrell signs, Uribe deserts us for an extra $1 million, we sign Tejada the next day, and BOOM: we're reduced to writing posts about our 3rd least favorite AL Central team.
By the way, this hyperlink thing is cool. I'm going to start using this creatively.
For instance:
Breaking News! Freddy Sanchez has surgery on his non-throwing shoulder!
Will this impact his ability to play on opening day? Shouldn't.
Can he still throw? Yeah, but with his left arm in a sling, he's going to look like my baby when she throws food. Kind of a limp fling with no body behind it.
Does this surgery mean the Giants are forced to forfeit their world series title as Sanchez was playing with illegal cartilage in his shoulder? Let me look into that.
Any minute now, though, something interesting is going to happen. I can feel it.
Oh, and was Freddy Sanchez born in the USA?
Yep.
Prove it! You have 10 minutes! Get to your filing cabinet!
One minute we're trying to figure out whether Carl Crawford will bat before or after Brandon Belt, and then suddenly Huff signs, Burrell signs, Uribe deserts us for an extra $1 million, we sign Tejada the next day, and BOOM: we're reduced to writing posts about our 3rd least favorite AL Central team.
By the way, this hyperlink thing is cool. I'm going to start using this creatively.
For instance:
Breaking News! Freddy Sanchez has surgery on his non-throwing shoulder!
Will this impact his ability to play on opening day? Shouldn't.
Can he still throw? Yeah, but with his left arm in a sling, he's going to look like my baby when she throws food. Kind of a limp fling with no body behind it.
Does this surgery mean the Giants are forced to forfeit their world series title as Sanchez was playing with illegal cartilage in his shoulder? Let me look into that.
Any minute now, though, something interesting is going to happen. I can feel it.
Oh, and was Freddy Sanchez born in the USA?
Yep.
Prove it! You have 10 minutes! Get to your filing cabinet!
Baseball Quote of the Day
From my friend Jon:
"(Oriole) Luke Scott: Slightly above-average baseball player, slightly crazy redneck."
Luke Scott to Yahoo Sports:
"(Obama) was not born here," Scott asserted to Answer Man in the session's last segment. "That's my belief. I was born here. If someone accuses me of not being born here, I can go — within 10 minutes — to my filing cabinet and I can pick up my real birth certificate and I can go, 'See? Look! Here it is. Here it is.'
Yahoo Sports responded with this:
http://static.politifact.com.s3.amazonaws.com/graphics/birthCertObama.jpg
Luke Scott: My 26th least favorite player in the AL East (after all the Yankees).
"(Oriole) Luke Scott: Slightly above-average baseball player, slightly crazy redneck."
Luke Scott to Yahoo Sports:
"(Obama) was not born here," Scott asserted to Answer Man in the session's last segment. "That's my belief. I was born here. If someone accuses me of not being born here, I can go — within 10 minutes — to my filing cabinet and I can pick up my real birth certificate and I can go, 'See? Look! Here it is. Here it is.'
Yahoo Sports responded with this:
http://static.politifact.com.s3.amazonaws.com/graphics/birthCertObama.jpg
Luke Scott: My 26th least favorite player in the AL East (after all the Yankees).
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Your Least Favorite NL West Team
Don't forget to vote in the poll to the right. This isn't just for "fun." Whichever team is the winner (or loser, if you will) when the poll expires will receive an official letter of notice from 24 Days of Magic informing them of this distinction. It will be delivered by email, thus saving me 78 cents or however much it costs to mail a letter now. Alos tath weigh I ken use spellcheck.
Later we will run a similar poll entitled: "Your 3rd Least Favorite AL Central Team"
Or, for the optimists among us, "Your 3rd Favorite AL Central Team"
Mine is Cleveland.
I can't wait for the next time Shin Soo Choo plays a road game in Florida and some smart fan starts yelling "Pyongyang hates you!"
Of course Florida isn't really big on the whole "fans" thing...
Later we will run a similar poll entitled: "Your 3rd Least Favorite AL Central Team"
Or, for the optimists among us, "Your 3rd Favorite AL Central Team"
Mine is Cleveland.
I can't wait for the next time Shin Soo Choo plays a road game in Florida and some smart fan starts yelling "Pyongyang hates you!"
Of course Florida isn't really big on the whole "fans" thing...
Monday, December 6, 2010
Brian Sabean at the Winter Meetings
Lake Buena Vista, Florida-
If I ruled the world...
"Hi, I'm Brian Sabean. Yes, what's that? Oh thanks. Yes, we did win the world series. Well, thanks. Always overpay for old hitters, that's what I always say. Finally rewarded for our effort, and it feels good. Now, let's get down to business, Kevin. Hold on. (whispers to assistant) Psst. Which team is he GM of again? Really? I thought that was Walt Jocketty. He's with who? What happened to that other guy, what's his name? Really?? He should get that looked at. Ok, so, Kevin, let me be blunt. Do you need a good defensive center fielder and clubhouse leader with occasional pop? No? Have a good day."
(Wanders through hallway with assistant.)
"Do they have chinese food here? Wait, so chow mein is called lo mein? That's just stupid."
(Runs into another GM.)
"Any interest in a good defensive center fielder and clubhouse leader with occasional pop? He's making 13 mil next year but we'll pay half. What do we want? I don't know, got any Class-A ball knuckleball throwing relievers?"
(Walks into bathroom, sees GM at urinal)
"I got this good defensive center fielder and clubhouse leader with occasional pop. He's making 13 mil next year but we'll pay half. Half of 13? I dont' know, 6 something I think. You got any really good new baseballs? Like gleaming white with the crisp seams? We're always running out. Well, call me."
(Takes phone call back in hallway from GM)
"You have a female seal mascot suit readily available? Yeah, he gets lonely. Batting average? Last year? I think .240, but he hit .268 in day games played in red states. What's that? Oh, 2004. There weren't enough red states in 2008 to form a decent sample size."
(Wanders around, eating noodles out of takeout container, runs into Peter Gammons)
"Listen, I know the Red Sox are worried about Jacoby's hip. We've got this guy. We'll pay half. Do you know if the Sox have an ambidextrous trainer in their farm system? You have my number, right?"
(Sits down in lounge, watches ESPN. Turns to assistant)
"Lebron and Wade really need to space the floor better."
Silence.
"I'm bored. Let's go back to the room and watch replays of the Renteria homerun and order room service."
If I ruled the world...
"Hi, I'm Brian Sabean. Yes, what's that? Oh thanks. Yes, we did win the world series. Well, thanks. Always overpay for old hitters, that's what I always say. Finally rewarded for our effort, and it feels good. Now, let's get down to business, Kevin. Hold on. (whispers to assistant) Psst. Which team is he GM of again? Really? I thought that was Walt Jocketty. He's with who? What happened to that other guy, what's his name? Really?? He should get that looked at. Ok, so, Kevin, let me be blunt. Do you need a good defensive center fielder and clubhouse leader with occasional pop? No? Have a good day."
(Wanders through hallway with assistant.)
"Do they have chinese food here? Wait, so chow mein is called lo mein? That's just stupid."
(Runs into another GM.)
"Any interest in a good defensive center fielder and clubhouse leader with occasional pop? He's making 13 mil next year but we'll pay half. What do we want? I don't know, got any Class-A ball knuckleball throwing relievers?"
(Walks into bathroom, sees GM at urinal)
"I got this good defensive center fielder and clubhouse leader with occasional pop. He's making 13 mil next year but we'll pay half. Half of 13? I dont' know, 6 something I think. You got any really good new baseballs? Like gleaming white with the crisp seams? We're always running out. Well, call me."
(Takes phone call back in hallway from GM)
"You have a female seal mascot suit readily available? Yeah, he gets lonely. Batting average? Last year? I think .240, but he hit .268 in day games played in red states. What's that? Oh, 2004. There weren't enough red states in 2008 to form a decent sample size."
(Wanders around, eating noodles out of takeout container, runs into Peter Gammons)
"Listen, I know the Red Sox are worried about Jacoby's hip. We've got this guy. We'll pay half. Do you know if the Sox have an ambidextrous trainer in their farm system? You have my number, right?"
(Sits down in lounge, watches ESPN. Turns to assistant)
"Lebron and Wade really need to space the floor better."
Silence.
"I'm bored. Let's go back to the room and watch replays of the Renteria homerun and order room service."
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Jayson Werth to the Nats....The Offseason Gets Better and Better
I can't think of too many places Jayson Werth could have gone that would have been more favorable for the Giants than Washington.
I know where I didn't want him to go:
Philadelphia
Los Angeles
Colorado
St. Louis
Atlanta
And now, an exhaustive list of places Jayson Werth could have gone that would have been more favorable than where he did go:
Pittsburgh
Kansas City
Baltimore
Seattle
That's it. This offseason rocks. Next thing we know, Carl Crawford's going to sign with the Royals, the Dodgers are going to send Ethier and Kemp to the Orioles for prospects and the Rockies are going to pay Jorge De La Rosa 11 million a year to post average pitching numbers. Oh wait, that last part already happened.
I love it. Much like the Adrian Gonzalez trade, this Werth signing could spell trouble for the 2016 Giants, but not the 2011 Giants. Not with Stephen Strasburg out for the season already and Bryce Harper preparing to rip up AAA and Adam Dunn signing with an AL Central team (because this offseason rocks). And who cares about the 2016 Giants anyway? That team will be so old it will set records. Renteria will be like 43, and starting in left field. Zito will be in the 28th year of his contract. Juan Uribe will come back, sign a contract, and then say "oh hey, and by the way, I'm 49. And also I speak fluent English. Just thought it'd be fun to have my own translator, like those Japanese pitchers. Now give me my own monogrammed barca lounger with a handy compartment in the arm-rest to put my dentures." It's going to be ugly.
I'm ready for some more exciting offseason action:
Cliff Lee to the Pirates! Who's with me!?
I know where I didn't want him to go:
Philadelphia
Los Angeles
Colorado
St. Louis
Atlanta
And now, an exhaustive list of places Jayson Werth could have gone that would have been more favorable than where he did go:
Pittsburgh
Kansas City
Baltimore
Seattle
That's it. This offseason rocks. Next thing we know, Carl Crawford's going to sign with the Royals, the Dodgers are going to send Ethier and Kemp to the Orioles for prospects and the Rockies are going to pay Jorge De La Rosa 11 million a year to post average pitching numbers. Oh wait, that last part already happened.
I love it. Much like the Adrian Gonzalez trade, this Werth signing could spell trouble for the 2016 Giants, but not the 2011 Giants. Not with Stephen Strasburg out for the season already and Bryce Harper preparing to rip up AAA and Adam Dunn signing with an AL Central team (because this offseason rocks). And who cares about the 2016 Giants anyway? That team will be so old it will set records. Renteria will be like 43, and starting in left field. Zito will be in the 28th year of his contract. Juan Uribe will come back, sign a contract, and then say "oh hey, and by the way, I'm 49. And also I speak fluent English. Just thought it'd be fun to have my own translator, like those Japanese pitchers. Now give me my own monogrammed barca lounger with a handy compartment in the arm-rest to put my dentures." It's going to be ugly.
I'm ready for some more exciting offseason action:
Cliff Lee to the Pirates! Who's with me!?
Saturday, December 4, 2010
500 Page Views!
THANK YOU everyone for your support!
My blog getting 500 page views is the blogging equivalent of Jose Bautista hitting 50 homeruns after previously hitting homeruns so infrequently that he occasionally ran to the wrong base first when he did go deep.
Of course, my blog isn't on performance enhancing drugs, and it's not a contract year for my blog.
Could you imagine if it was?
First line of normal blog posting:
Boy I sure don't like them Padres! Hold on, gotta pick my nose. David Eckstein is uglier than my pet pig!
First line of blog posting during contract year:
Pablo Sandoval doesn't love roasted beet soup, but he doesn't hate it either. As we dined together at a crowded Caracas eating establishment, I was struck by the candor and the passion of the popular third baseman.
"Andy," he said between mouthfuls of salmon fillet. "I want the people in San Francisco to know I am dedicated to being in shape. You will tell them this?"
My blog getting 500 page views is the blogging equivalent of Jose Bautista hitting 50 homeruns after previously hitting homeruns so infrequently that he occasionally ran to the wrong base first when he did go deep.
Of course, my blog isn't on performance enhancing drugs, and it's not a contract year for my blog.
Could you imagine if it was?
First line of normal blog posting:
Boy I sure don't like them Padres! Hold on, gotta pick my nose. David Eckstein is uglier than my pet pig!
First line of blog posting during contract year:
Pablo Sandoval doesn't love roasted beet soup, but he doesn't hate it either. As we dined together at a crowded Caracas eating establishment, I was struck by the candor and the passion of the popular third baseman.
"Andy," he said between mouthfuls of salmon fillet. "I want the people in San Francisco to know I am dedicated to being in shape. You will tell them this?"
The Padres' "Fiendish Plan"
My friend Marcus has apparently been spying on Padres GM Kevin Towers. Not that Kevin Towers is the GM of the Padres. I think he's the GM of the Diamondbacks now. But if I don't know the name of a GM, I just assume it's Kevin Towers.
Anyway, Marcus has been spying on him when he's not in law school (Marcus, not Kevin Towers. Kevin Towers is not in law school. He's the GM of a major league team, maybe two). This morning, Marcus filed the following report:
The Padres have discovered that the less intimidating their lineup is, the more it messes with the Giants' heads. They came pretty close last year. They had an awful lineup and they dominated us, but they didn't dominate us completely. This lack of complete domination was of course due to the presence of Gonzales and to a lesser extent Tejada (yeah he was one of the more intimidating figures in their lineup). Now with these two guys gone, the Giants should expect to get swept every time they meet the Pads next season. Well, maybe the Giants win one game, but only because the Pads will have Ludwick batting cleanup.
Yeah, my initial reaction to the Adrian Gonzalez to the Red Sox for prospects trade is that the Padres will be a force to be reckoned with in 2016. But maybe not 2011. You know what's weird? I almost wrote 2012 instead of 2016 thinking of 2012 as some futuristic year. 2012 is like 5 days from now. I feel so old.
So does this mean our biggest competitor is a non-factor next year? I'm going to go out on a big limb here: Probably. Maybe yeah. I think so, sure.
No, actually I think yes, this means that the Padres are going to be a non-factor. Throw in the inevitable Heath Bell for prospects trade and the inevitable Mike Adams being tractor-beamed back to his home planet transaction, and you've got a shell of the team that still didn't win the NL West last year.
The Diamondbacks aren't going to contend either. Wait, did they replace their entire bullpen, half their lineup and did they clean that pool in right field? Did Brandon Webb buy a new arm on EBAY? No? Ok, then I stand by what I said. That pool is dirty.
So it's a 3 team race. The Rockies, who resigned Jorge De La Rosa for way too much money and Troy Tulowitzki until the crazy futuristic year of 2020 (which is when fascism will rule England...or was that 1984?) and the Fodgers will be our competition.
This is a positive development. Last year, watching the Dodgers fall apart only to see the Padres do what they did was downright demoralizing. I don't want to deal with that again. I don't want to deal with anything difficult, in fact. Now that we've won a championship the hard way, I want to win one the easy way. One championship in 28 years of life and I'm now spoiled. Anything less than a 10 game lead by the All-Star Break and I'm throwing things at the TV and calling for Bochy to be fired and replaced by a proven winner like Ken Macha or Kevin Towers.
Anyway, Marcus has been spying on him when he's not in law school (Marcus, not Kevin Towers. Kevin Towers is not in law school. He's the GM of a major league team, maybe two). This morning, Marcus filed the following report:
The Padres have discovered that the less intimidating their lineup is, the more it messes with the Giants' heads. They came pretty close last year. They had an awful lineup and they dominated us, but they didn't dominate us completely. This lack of complete domination was of course due to the presence of Gonzales and to a lesser extent Tejada (yeah he was one of the more intimidating figures in their lineup). Now with these two guys gone, the Giants should expect to get swept every time they meet the Pads next season. Well, maybe the Giants win one game, but only because the Pads will have Ludwick batting cleanup.
Yeah, my initial reaction to the Adrian Gonzalez to the Red Sox for prospects trade is that the Padres will be a force to be reckoned with in 2016. But maybe not 2011. You know what's weird? I almost wrote 2012 instead of 2016 thinking of 2012 as some futuristic year. 2012 is like 5 days from now. I feel so old.
So does this mean our biggest competitor is a non-factor next year? I'm going to go out on a big limb here: Probably. Maybe yeah. I think so, sure.
No, actually I think yes, this means that the Padres are going to be a non-factor. Throw in the inevitable Heath Bell for prospects trade and the inevitable Mike Adams being tractor-beamed back to his home planet transaction, and you've got a shell of the team that still didn't win the NL West last year.
The Diamondbacks aren't going to contend either. Wait, did they replace their entire bullpen, half their lineup and did they clean that pool in right field? Did Brandon Webb buy a new arm on EBAY? No? Ok, then I stand by what I said. That pool is dirty.
So it's a 3 team race. The Rockies, who resigned Jorge De La Rosa for way too much money and Troy Tulowitzki until the crazy futuristic year of 2020 (which is when fascism will rule England...or was that 1984?) and the Fodgers will be our competition.
This is a positive development. Last year, watching the Dodgers fall apart only to see the Padres do what they did was downright demoralizing. I don't want to deal with that again. I don't want to deal with anything difficult, in fact. Now that we've won a championship the hard way, I want to win one the easy way. One championship in 28 years of life and I'm now spoiled. Anything less than a 10 game lead by the All-Star Break and I'm throwing things at the TV and calling for Bochy to be fired and replaced by a proven winner like Ken Macha or Kevin Towers.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Forget Cavs-Heat, We've Got HUGE Giants News To Report
Mike Fontenot is back!
Yes, the man who may or may not be a werewolf and who my wife calls "Fon-ten-tot" is back for 1 year, 1 million, roughly.
Meanwhile, Chris Ray is gone, as is Eugenio Velez.
I'll miss Velez, not because he was a good baseball player (he's not) but because he was interesting. Chris Ray was not interesting or a good baseball player.
Ray and Velez could come back with minor league deals if they don't sign elsewhere. But the Pirates I'm sure will sign both of them.
The other six Giants who were eligible for arbitration were offered it, and will remain Giants:
Javier Lopez
Jonathan Sanchez
Andres Torres
Ramon Ramirez
Santiago Cassila
Cody Ross
So now our roster is fairly set. We have 7 relievers, 5 starters, 6 infielders, 6 outfielders, 2 catchers.
Which means I have nothing to talk about for the rest of the winter. Goodbye.
No, I'm kidding. Our next post will be: "If Chris Ray were a sandwich ingredient, which one would he be?"
(Hint: iceberg lettuce is the correct answer)
Yes, the man who may or may not be a werewolf and who my wife calls "Fon-ten-tot" is back for 1 year, 1 million, roughly.
Meanwhile, Chris Ray is gone, as is Eugenio Velez.
I'll miss Velez, not because he was a good baseball player (he's not) but because he was interesting. Chris Ray was not interesting or a good baseball player.
Ray and Velez could come back with minor league deals if they don't sign elsewhere. But the Pirates I'm sure will sign both of them.
The other six Giants who were eligible for arbitration were offered it, and will remain Giants:
Javier Lopez
Jonathan Sanchez
Andres Torres
Ramon Ramirez
Santiago Cassila
Cody Ross
So now our roster is fairly set. We have 7 relievers, 5 starters, 6 infielders, 6 outfielders, 2 catchers.
Which means I have nothing to talk about for the rest of the winter. Goodbye.
No, I'm kidding. Our next post will be: "If Chris Ray were a sandwich ingredient, which one would he be?"
(Hint: iceberg lettuce is the correct answer)
Thursday, December 2, 2010
The Outfield Updated, Or Jayson Werth and Carl Crawford, We Hardly Knew You
Burrell is back, and as I said, I like it.
I mean, this is a guy who slugged over .500, had a very respectable OBP, kept Aubrey Huff happy, and hit some clutch homeruns. All everyone talks about is that he struck out 48 times in the World Series, but:
a) That could happen to anyone.
b) It was FOUR games.
He's the opposite of Cody Ross who was terrible all season and then went nuts for about two weeks. But Ross is going to get very rich while apparently we're paying Burrell in hair gel and coupons for discounted speed dating events.
So what does this mean for our outfield?
It means it's very crowded despite how much ground there is to cover at At&t. It means we're not getting Carl Crawford or Jayson Werth. Which is fine, because we needed that money to pay Miguel Tejada.
Our Outfield
1. Andres Torres
2. Cody Ross
3. Aaron Rowand
4. Pat Burrell
5. Nate Schierholtz
6. Brandon Belt
7. Mark DeRosa
We can keep 6 of those guys because DeRosa can be a backup infielder. But somebody has to go.
Somebody....
Hmmm.....
What if we packaged Aaron Rowand and Runzler and offered to pay half of Rowand's salary to the Rays for....aw hell, for Jason Bartlett. Sure. Come on board. Two bad shortstops are the same as one good one, right? And maybe they'll throw in Longoria. Or some hair gel.
I'm looking at the outfielders I listed above, and I'm thinking, and I'm sorry that I'm thinking this, but this is what I am thinking:
We won the world series???
My fear is that the somebody who has to go will be Brandon Belt going to AAA. We could trade Schierholtz, but I'm not sure what we could get for him.
"No really! He plays great defense!"
Then again, the Pirates are always game for a good trade.
I mean, this is a guy who slugged over .500, had a very respectable OBP, kept Aubrey Huff happy, and hit some clutch homeruns. All everyone talks about is that he struck out 48 times in the World Series, but:
a) That could happen to anyone.
b) It was FOUR games.
He's the opposite of Cody Ross who was terrible all season and then went nuts for about two weeks. But Ross is going to get very rich while apparently we're paying Burrell in hair gel and coupons for discounted speed dating events.
So what does this mean for our outfield?
It means it's very crowded despite how much ground there is to cover at At&t. It means we're not getting Carl Crawford or Jayson Werth. Which is fine, because we needed that money to pay Miguel Tejada.
Our Outfield
1. Andres Torres
2. Cody Ross
3. Aaron Rowand
4. Pat Burrell
5. Nate Schierholtz
6. Brandon Belt
7. Mark DeRosa
We can keep 6 of those guys because DeRosa can be a backup infielder. But somebody has to go.
Somebody....
Hmmm.....
What if we packaged Aaron Rowand and Runzler and offered to pay half of Rowand's salary to the Rays for....aw hell, for Jason Bartlett. Sure. Come on board. Two bad shortstops are the same as one good one, right? And maybe they'll throw in Longoria. Or some hair gel.
I'm looking at the outfielders I listed above, and I'm thinking, and I'm sorry that I'm thinking this, but this is what I am thinking:
We won the world series???
My fear is that the somebody who has to go will be Brandon Belt going to AAA. We could trade Schierholtz, but I'm not sure what we could get for him.
"No really! He plays great defense!"
Then again, the Pirates are always game for a good trade.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
What Does a .692 OPS Really Mean?
Well, it means the following infielders had better years than you last year:
Yunkiesky Betancourt
Ian Desmond
Jeff Keppinger
Pablo Sandoval!
Ben Zobrist
Chase Headley
Orlando Hudson
Garrett Jones
Jeff Keppinger
Jeff Keppinger
Jeff Keppinger
And I would venture that none of those guys are 37 years old.
Of course, Miguel Tejada isn't 37 years old either. Not yet, anyway. Not until May.
Sabean's panic button needs to be hidden in the bottom of a laundry basket in the back of a closet in a secret room under a hidden staircase in a house protected by Muggle Repelling charms.
Emanuel Burriss may not be the answer at SS. Maybe Fontenot and DeRosa aren't the answer either. But, and here's what Sabean doesn't seem to get, THEY ALREADY PLAY FOR US. We don't have to pay them more money.
Things we could do with $6.5 million:
1. Use it to help sign a big time free agent outfielder
2. Save it for when Lincecum is a free agent. Put it in a jar with a sign on it that says "Timmy's money! Don't touch! F$%^ Yeah!"
3. Stick it in a "Zito" jar and repeat "we're only paying him 11.5 million" over and over again until we don't feel so bad anymore.
4. Free hot dogs for all Jewish fans. All beef!
5. Hire Pablo Sandoval a personal nutritionist/concubine
6. Go to Vegas and bet it on "Red". Lose, and you still have 3 shortstops with numbers similar to Miguel Tejada. Win, and you've got yourself a full year of Aaron Rowand.
No, this is a spectacularly dumb decision and no amount of conversation about Miggy's charm or defense or former (roid-fueled) glory in Oakland will convince me otherwise. It's like Sabean thinks the World Series Championship (in case you forgot, the Giants are World Series Champions of the World Series) is a mandate to continue overpaying for old people. We won despite the fact that we were overpaying for a bunch of old guys. Not because of it.
Is Tejada for 1 year and 6.5 million better than Uribe for 3 years and 7 million? Sure. I guess.
It's also better than Zito for 7 years 126 million.
It's also better than Tejada for 1 year, 35 million.
Just like it's better if my little baby grows up to be a coke dealer than it is if she grows up to be a genocidal dictator.
(I actually think she's going to grow up to be a professional food thrower, as this is currently her most impressive talent.)
Well, now Sabean is saying the Giants are pursuing trades for Jason Bartlett. That way, Tejada can play 3rd in case Sandoval has a bad year like he did last year when he had a .732 OPS. You might have noticed Bartlett wasn't on the list I posted.
There's a reason for that, and it's not because I forgot him.
It's because his OPS was, yes, WORSE than Tejada's.
I'm thinking 5 years, 43 million with a 3 million dollar bonus if he hits .230 or better.
Yunkiesky Betancourt
Ian Desmond
Jeff Keppinger
Pablo Sandoval!
Ben Zobrist
Chase Headley
Orlando Hudson
Garrett Jones
Jeff Keppinger
Jeff Keppinger
Jeff Keppinger
And I would venture that none of those guys are 37 years old.
Of course, Miguel Tejada isn't 37 years old either. Not yet, anyway. Not until May.
Sabean's panic button needs to be hidden in the bottom of a laundry basket in the back of a closet in a secret room under a hidden staircase in a house protected by Muggle Repelling charms.
Emanuel Burriss may not be the answer at SS. Maybe Fontenot and DeRosa aren't the answer either. But, and here's what Sabean doesn't seem to get, THEY ALREADY PLAY FOR US. We don't have to pay them more money.
Things we could do with $6.5 million:
1. Use it to help sign a big time free agent outfielder
2. Save it for when Lincecum is a free agent. Put it in a jar with a sign on it that says "Timmy's money! Don't touch! F$%^ Yeah!"
3. Stick it in a "Zito" jar and repeat "we're only paying him 11.5 million" over and over again until we don't feel so bad anymore.
4. Free hot dogs for all Jewish fans. All beef!
5. Hire Pablo Sandoval a personal nutritionist/concubine
6. Go to Vegas and bet it on "Red". Lose, and you still have 3 shortstops with numbers similar to Miguel Tejada. Win, and you've got yourself a full year of Aaron Rowand.
No, this is a spectacularly dumb decision and no amount of conversation about Miggy's charm or defense or former (roid-fueled) glory in Oakland will convince me otherwise. It's like Sabean thinks the World Series Championship (in case you forgot, the Giants are World Series Champions of the World Series) is a mandate to continue overpaying for old people. We won despite the fact that we were overpaying for a bunch of old guys. Not because of it.
Is Tejada for 1 year and 6.5 million better than Uribe for 3 years and 7 million? Sure. I guess.
It's also better than Zito for 7 years 126 million.
It's also better than Tejada for 1 year, 35 million.
Just like it's better if my little baby grows up to be a coke dealer than it is if she grows up to be a genocidal dictator.
(I actually think she's going to grow up to be a professional food thrower, as this is currently her most impressive talent.)
Well, now Sabean is saying the Giants are pursuing trades for Jason Bartlett. That way, Tejada can play 3rd in case Sandoval has a bad year like he did last year when he had a .732 OPS. You might have noticed Bartlett wasn't on the list I posted.
There's a reason for that, and it's not because I forgot him.
It's because his OPS was, yes, WORSE than Tejada's.
I'm thinking 5 years, 43 million with a 3 million dollar bonus if he hits .230 or better.
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