Staring Out The Window, Waiting For April

Yesterday I watched Field of Dreams. God, I love that movie.

"America has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But Baseball has remained constant. People will come, Ray. People will most definitely come."

Goosebumps.

Anyway, something new struck me this time, which is amazing since I've seen the movie about 40 times. It's the scene where the ground is covered with snow and there's a shot of Kevin Costner wearing a red sweater, obviously at a christmas party he and his wife are hosting, sitting by the window, staring out at the field.

You and me both, Kevin.

See, my family is really into christmas; it's what you get when you marry a goy. But not just that. I mean, my family is REALLY into christmas. My house looks like a Norwegian antique shop. My baby has, for instance, already attempted to eat three reindeer, four santas, two snowmen, and at least a dozen elves. She's also had a stocking holder fall on her head, at which point we immediately cheered her up by showing her the singing "moose" that is mounted on the wall near our front door. It's the one that sings "Santa Clause is coming to town" as opposed to the stuffed "moose" we have who sings "Grandma got run over by a reindeer." They're technically reindeer, I guess. But they look like, um, like, uh...shoot...mooses? Meese?

I go along with it, mostly because it's fun, but also because all I got is Dreidel (which, c'mon, let's be honest, pretty much sucks) and the "let's see which Hannukah candle burns the fastest" game which, like an NBA game, is only interesting for the last 30 seconds. So a hostile religious takeover would reduce the amount of fun had by all. No good.

Anyway, what I'm getting at here is that christmas is great, but I feel like Kevin Costner when he's staring out that window. I just want it to be baseball season again. How much longer? C'mon, already! Everything else (yes, including the birth of our savior) is just filler. I guess this is better than not having an off-season because then we'd never miss baseball, but it's driving me crazy.

So, for those of you who feel this way too, I've got some fun "christmas" games for you.

Everytime somebody opens a present, bust out with a simulated "call" from a playoff game.
"Ooh, Daddy! Can I open this one?"
"Sure, Billy!"
"Oh, look, it's a new iphone app!"
"Two strikes on Sanchez. Kimbrel looks Ishikawa back, and throws, and Sanchez swings and lines one up the middle...base hit! The Giants are still alive! Ishikawa to second and Huff will bat!"
(Awkward silence.)
"Open that one next, Billy. It's an iBike."

Everytime somebody spills food or drink at dinner, yell "Brooks Conrad! Brooks Conrad!"
Especially if it's your in-laws.

Ask for nothing but the Giants World Series DVD for christmas and then force your family to spend christmas afternoon watching it with you.
This isn't really a "game" per se. But I plan on "playing" it.

Tis the season. Sigh.

Only 101 more days...