Renteria Offended By Offer of $1million Per Intact Bicep Muscle

From numerous sources, in this case quoted in Yahoo Sports:

"That offer from the Giants was a lack of respect. A total disrespect," Renteria told ESPNdeportes.com Thursday from Colombia.

The offer was $1 million.

This is hard for me, because Renteria's homerun was somewhere between "wedding" and "college graduation" on the list of greatest moments of my life.

But I get it. He hit the biggest homerun in the history of the team. He was World Series MVP. He is offended that he would receive $5.5 million less than Miguel Tejada when he is clearly a better player than Tejada when he isn't sitting in a bucket of ice in the trainer's room, and sometimes he's a better player even when he is sitting in a bucket of ice in the trainer's room.

I get it. I really do.

No, wait, I don't. Because here's the thing. We already paid him all the money he's worth times ten! Over the last two years, we paid Edgar Renteria almost $20,000,000 to do not much of anything. He was constantly hurt. He played badly. Now we offer him exactly what he's worth and he feels disrespected.

Here's the contract offer I would make to Edgar Renteria:
$500,000 for every 40 games played. $500,000 for every 400 points of OPS per season.

Over the last two years, his grand total salary by this standard would be:
$4 million.

So how about this, Edgar:
We won't ask for the $16 million you owe us if you sign for $1 million and ignore the fact that even though you were playing with only one bicep muscle last year, you STILL had better numbers than Miguel Tejada.

Deal?
No?
Ok, well then go have fun playing for the Marlins.