Brooks Conrad Errors and Ice Cream: There Is Such Thing As Too Much

I had a very Giants Christmas. Below is a list of gifts I received:

-Giants WS Championship Christmas tree ornament
-Giants WS Championship T-Shirt
-Giants WS Championship Sweatshirt
-Giants/Rangers highlights DVD
-Giants WS Championship water bottle
-Orange shirt
-Buster Posey Jersey/T-shirt

Other family members got Buster Posey rookie cards, Giants commemorative DVDs, a Tim Lincecum jersey/t-shirt, and half of the other items listed above.

And my little baby was given multiple Red Sox items as I gritted my teeth and planned my strategy of indoctrination:

"Hey baby. Want to eat some of daddy's ice cream? Doesn't that taste good? Daddy likes ice cream because the Giants like ice cream. The Red Sox only like prune juice! Here! Try some prune juice!"

I watched the highlights DVD and then some bonus DVD material with my dad. Watching some of the regular season stuff was fun, but by the time we'd finished watching condensed highlights of each post-season win, I felt like the guy who goes to the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet and walks in telling himself and anyone else who will listen that he's going to make 7, 8, maybe 14 trips to the buffet line and then after about six egg rolls and three plates of fried unidentified meat in sweet and sour sauce, stumbles over to the food, picks up a pot sticker, smears it all over his face, and crumples to the floor mumbling unintelligibly.

You know, that guy.

I mean, I guess I've just seen the same highlights over and over too many times. Did you know that Juan Uribe hit an 8th inning homerun to win the NLCS? Yeah, and a walk-off sacfly! And Brian Wilson struckoutRyanHowardddddohgodpassthesoysauceandhotchilioilthisriceislikechalk.

I have a confession to make. After watching the DVD with my dad, I started to really feel sorry for Brooks Conrad. I started to wish him to field Buster Posey's 9th inning grounder. I slapped myself, but then immediately started justifying my treachery. "You know, the Giants could win it in extras! They could, you know, score a run or something in, maybe, the 13th?"

And then I remembered what October Me would have said to December Me:

"The 13th? THE !#$#$@# 13th? I'm dying here, sitting on my couch, my pillow over my face, my orange rally rag shredded from when I tried to rip it into two pieces when Hinske went deep, enduring this torturous crap, and you want me to sit through 4 more innings of this so you don't have to feel sorry for a man who makes hundreds of thousands of dollars playing baseball? You're dead to me, December Me."

I know. I know. But if...yeah, I know. You're right, October Me.

So I've now learned that there is another stage in the "team wins first title process." I think this is what I have so far:

1. Shock
2. Elation
3. Prolonged elation
4. Arrogance
5. Depression
6. Overwhelmed
7. Acceptance
8. Impatience
9. Too Much Ice Cream

I'm hoping the next step is:

10. Becoming incredibly wealthy off sale of Giants Christmas Tree Ornaments.

But I already know what step 10 will really be:

10. Staring at calendar waiting for April and realizing it's still not April and throwing calendar at co-workers and/or passersby and then resigning self to allowing self to be distracted by basketball.

Also by my new Wii. It's awesome. I'm going to create a Buster Posey Mii and then not use him. So, you know, he can rest during the offseason. And then I'm going to make a Pablo Sandoval Mii and buy Wii Fit.

I'm going to end this post now and maybe go watch NLDS Game 3 highlights on MLB.com.

Psst. Hey. Are you going to eat that Egg Roll? I thought I was full, but man, that looks good...