This one makes me sad. If this was any team other than the Dodgers, I'd feel like I'm going on vacation and leaving my kitten or puppy at home with a neighbor.
"Dear (insert team here):
Thank you for taking Eugenio. Please make sure you remind him that sometimes the pitcher throws the ball slower than usual and he can't always swing the same speed. Please remind him that if he gets on base, the pitcher might try to throw the ball to the base he's on and get him out instead of pitching. That can be very scary, so please don't forget. And also please make sure he sits behind the screen in the dugout because one time he got absolutely drilled with a foul ball and for several months afterwards he couldn't remember his birthday and when the doctors asked him what the capitol of Canada was, he said: "Moose City." Also if he says he wants to play outfield, please be careful. He doesn't always remember to catch the ball. Same with infield. Oh, and help yourself to anything in the fridge.
Thanks again,
The Giants."
But since it's the Dodgers, the analogy falls apart. Instead, the letter would be:
"Dear A-Holes:
I hope he sucks as much for you as he did for us. Stop stealing our players. Your team is still terrible.
Sincerely,
The World Champion Giants"
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