Open Letter To The Los Angeles Dodgers

To: Los Angeles Dodgers
Dodger Stadium
1000 Elysian Park Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90012

To Whom It May Concern:

(Note: Please do not rip this letter down the middle and give half to Frank McCourt's laywers and half to Jamie McCourt's lawyers. While that may be your instinct in these difficult times, it would render this letter very difficult to read. Thanks!)

I am writing on behalf of 24 Days of Magic, a brand new blog all about the San Francisco Giants, who you may have noticed finished several spots ahead of you in the division last year. "Several", by the way, is usually used to mean more than two, which in this case is accurate. This differentiates us from the Padres who finished "a couple" spots ahead of you and the Rockies who finished just "one" spot ahead of you.

Recently, our blog polled its readers to find out which NL West team they disliked the most. Well, we have good news and bad news. The good news is, the Dodgers finally won something! The bad news is, well, I'm sure you can figure it out. Yes, a full 76% of our readers chose you as their least favorite NL West team. This is despite the fact that I personally voted for the Rockies twice just to make it more interesting. Pretty sad, I know, voting twice in your own poll, and for something you don't even believe in. I'm sorry. But Dodgers, if you ever start a blog, you'll understand. You just want so badly for it to succeed. You don't want it to end up a failure, with an imploding bullpen and a suddenly mediocre lineup and a catcher with a sub .550 OPS.

Anyway, I don't mean to be mean. Some of our readers informed me of their reasons for disliking you and I realize that many of those reasons are without reason. In other words, "I hate the Dodgers because they are the Dodgers." I know that doesn't seem fair. I know that if some other NL West team had won, the reasons might have been more specific. I know you guys don't cheat like the Rockies, or have a pool in right field like Arizona, or no fans who don't wear hats with the names of aircraft carriers on them like the Padres. You DO have some real fans. They sit in the bleachers. So again, I'm sorry if your feelings are hurt.

We felt very forgiving toward you after we won the world series (were you watching?). But then you stole Juan Uribe and kidnapped Eugenio Velez and tied him to your bench before he could reach Pittsburgh and actually get a chance to play. I think that contributed a lot to your "win."

That, and one other thing:

You're the Dodgers.

Best wishes for your continued enjoyment of your exceptionally long off-season,
24 Days of Magic