My baby is 1 today.
That's right, she's 1. Not "a year."
I had this argument with my wife the other day.
"I'm happy," I said, "because now I can just say she's 1."
"She's not 1."
"She's not?"
"You do it by months."
"Right, but she's not '12 months.' That'd be like somebody saying they are 'five foot twelve.'"
"Sure, so you say she's 'a year.'"
"I'm not saying that. She's 1."
I post this particular conversation not because it's interesting (it's not) but because I consider myself to have won it and I don't win disagreements with my wife often. I win disagreements with my wife about as often as the Giants win World Series'.
But that brings me to the point of this post, which is that it's my baby's birthday and that in the entire history of her entire life, only one team has won the World Series, and it's the Giants. Let me go further than that. Only one basketball team has won a Pac-Ten title since my baby was born, and it was Cal. They hadn't done that in 50 years. In the week after her birth, I won FOUR fantasy football leagues. Now, this last point raises two very good questions:
1) Why the hell were you in 4 fantasy football leagues?
2) Seriously? You won all 4? Dude, that's impressive.
I know. I am very impressive. As for the first question, I can only say that by the third trimester, my wife stopped being interesting and I was forced to entertain myself in my downtime between trips to the kitchen to make the aforementioned uninteresting wife roast beef and pickles sandwiches.
What is it like to live in a world in which only the Giants have won a World Series?
Only my baby (and a bunch of other babies who don't count) know the answer to this. But I'll tell you one thing; the 2010 season changed my baby's life forever.
See, the other members of my nuclear family are Red Sox fans. So when my wife got pregnant, we discussed what team the baby would root for, and agreed she'd probably end up an A's fan. Which is fine. When she was very little, after all, she laughed every time I chanted "Let's Go Oakland!" But then she also laughed when I chanted "Beat LA!" And also pretty much anytime anyone looked her in the eye and emitted verbal sounds.
But now....now she's a Giants fan. No question. I might post pictures later to prove it if I decide that my desire to show off how cute my baby is and how much she loves the Giants outweighs my desire not to have pictures of my daughter on the internet where any weirdo could see them. Tough call. And there are some real weirdos out there.
Anyway, last night, at 1:45am, I forgot to wish my baby happy birthday when she woke up crying (she's sick). But it was ok because I got to do it at 3:45 am.
"Happy Birthday," I said to her as I rocked her. "You know, it's because of you that the Giants won."
"Nah," she replied. "It was the pitching, and Cody Ross."
I was so tired, I didn't really notice, but that was probably some sort of important baby moment. I should ask my wife if they start speaking in complete sentences when, you know, they turn "a year."
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