Giants Announce Victory Lap

The following email showed up in my inbox today, right under an invitation to send my bank account info to an impoverished Mongolian taxi driver who left $3,000,000 USA DOLLAR$ at his mother-in law's house only to find out that she used it to buy a Yak.

WORLD CHAMPION TROPHY TOUR PRESENTED BY VISA
The San Francisco Giants will launch a public tour of the World Champions trophy in early January. The Trophy will travel throughout Northern California, Southern Oregon and Western Nevada. It will also travel to New York and Arizona.
"For more than 52 years, our dedicated fans have supported us through thick and thin," said Giants Managing General Partner and CEO Bill Neukom. "The trophy belongs to them as much as it belongs to us and we want to extend the World Champions celebration throughout Giants country and to thank our fans."

Ok, Northern California is great. And we definitely dominate Southern Oregon and its many inhabitant(s). Western Nevada, same thing. We own Reno, Wells, and Battle Mountain. But New York and Arizona? I hope we're bringing security. Are they going to announce the parade route ahead of time?

I mean, imagine you're a Mets fan. What chance do you have to touch the World Series trophy anytime in the next century or so? Hijacking our parade might be your one opportunity. I hope Neukom is packing heat, or at least brings a bodyguard or seven.

Arizona makes sense in that we play spring training there and there are probably lots of Giants fans who moved to the desert to avoid paying taxes or because they enjoy being asked daily if they have "their papers." But it's also the home of a division rival. Can you imagine if the Dodgers took the trophy on a tour through San Francisco? There are tons of Dodger fans up here. They moved here from Los Angeles because they wanted to avoid accidentally running into Spencer Pratt. So what's the difference? And if we're going to take the trophy through Arizona, why not Denver, San Diego, and LA? Why not flip the bird to the rest of the league the right way? Hey, how about a stop in Philly? There are some nice folks there who really need to see the trophy.

I'm reminded of the old Native American saying:
"When Adrian Beltre is the biggest free agent left on the market, there is little to discuss on one's blog."

So true, that.