December Mailbag

It's a slow Wednesday, so I think I'll open up the old mailbag. You know, that wonderful feature of sports columnists wherein the best emails from readers are answered. Of course, I don't really get many emails from readers, so I think I'll just make some up.

Oh, and yes, the fact that this post is called "December Mailbag" means that this will have to become a monthly feature. Maybe by January I'll have actual emails.

You can email me at 24DaysOfMagic@gmail.com.

Why is your blog called 24 Days of Magic? Sounds like a corny documentary.

Well, I started writing anguished emails to a bunch of friends back when there were 24 days left in the season. Most of the emails consisted of me ranting about the fact that the Giants were inevitably going to miss the playoffs or, even worse (and that makes sense if you were a Giants fan before 2010), make the playoffs. The name was meant to be an ironic reference to the Giants marketing campaign, and also there were some kids and some coworkers on the emails and I couldn't well call them "24 Days of Horrid F$#%ing Torture."

I heard a rumor that the Giants are trading Rowand to the Phillies and then getting Jose Reyes from the Mets? That's crazy! Is it true?

I don't know for sure. I've heard that too. I think it's a good trade, though, and I really hope it happens.

I've been reading your stuff for a while now, and I have to say I think you're really knowledgeable. Your take on the various rotation and roster changes Bochy made during the post-season run were right on, and your off-season observations have been keen and insightful. Your references to VORP and UZR prove you really know your stuff. I look forward to hearing your take on the upcoming arbitration hearings for Ross, Torres, etc.

Thanks! That's really nice of you. Oh, but what's "arbitration"?

Do you ever make an obscure Harry Potter metaphor in one of your posts, sit back in your chair, read what you've written, and think: "Wow. I'm such a big nerd."?

Ouch. That hurts. I feel like I'm sitting in the Great Hall, enjoying my kippers and treacle tart, minding my own business, when suddenly an owl comes sweeping in over my head and drops a howler on my plate. I wish I knew some cool, non-nerdy way to respond to this insult. Unfortunately, I can't think of anything, so I'll have to just let it slide. Oh wait, I know...Protego!

If you were Brian Sabean, what would you do now?

First, I would continue to thank whatever God I believe in for allowing me to win a title despite my own ineptitude. I mean, Brian Sabean has an attractive wife and a world series ring and can call Buster Posey anytime he wants to ask him to come over and play Risk, while the good folks at "Fire-Sabean.com" have a giant heading on their website that says "Under Construction for obvious reasons." How is that fair??

Anyway, I would seriously go after Beltre as a shortstop, an idea that I came up with all on my own. Does that mean we will have wasted $6.5 million on Miguel Tejada? Uh, yeah. But this is the kind of move that sends a message that we're not messing around. I don't think the Giants need to do anything else to be right back in position to repeat. Belt and/or Sandoval plus a full year of Posey and Ross provide all the offensive upgrades we'll probably need. But Beltre would be a coup.

Then I would hammer out the arbitration deals without actually letting any of them go to the arbiter. And then I would trade Rowand to a team willing to pay half his salary.

That was MY idea to play Beltre at short.

Sorry, Seth. But you posted it on my blog, and that makes it my idea. Isn't that how blogs work? No? Well then how the hell am I going to become all powerful as was foretold by my prophecy in the Department of Mysteries?

I read your post about how you've seen Giants playoff highlights too many times and I have to say I think you're wrong, and I can prove it. I just got the official Giants DVD "The Magic Inside" for Christmas. Want to come over and watch?

What? Oh, damn. Yeah, I do. Can I bring anything? I've got Giants Peanut Butter Torture Ice Cream in the freezer...

I don't really read your blog much because baseball's not really my thing but I'm so proud of you for doing it!

Sigh. Thanks, Mom.