Giants 2, Phillies 1
Yesterday was strangely without torture. Sure, there was the top of the 7th when the Phillies got 2 on with 2 out and Victorino worked the count to 3-2. And Utley was on deck. But Javier Lopez was in the bullpen.
And Javier Lopez rocks.
My friend Marcus even accused Javier of not being a real Giants after his 1-2-3 8th inning. That inning, Marcus noted, had "an alarming lack of agonizing drama."
Yeah, go somewhere else to pitch, Lopez! Go somewhere where they like quick painless 8th innings! We don't want your kind here!
(psst. I was kidding. please don't leave. I love you.)
The Giants offense, meanwhile, was sizzling. Sure, we didn't get any base runners in the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and went scoreless in the 6th, 7th, and 8th. But in the 4th we got TWO hits and ONE walk. And in the 5th we got ONE hit and one ERROR-HIT-THINGY. And here i thought Cole Hamels was a good pitcher. Guess not.
The Giants have now scored....wait for it...19 runs in 7 playoff games. They've allowed....18.
19
And they scored THREE for Matt Cain! For Cain-Daddy, that must have felt like christmas in October. Three runs is absurd. Ridiculous. Three runs. Please. He only needed half a run. Afterwards he went in the locker room and screamed at everyone for 30 minutes.
"If you did this every game, I'd have won the cy young instead of hippy boy over there! ME! ME! But no. Thanks for nothing."
It's true. Two years ago, Matt Cain had a 2.8 era for the season. His record was something like 7-39.
Fun facts about yesterday;
-Giants fans lined up behind the Fox sports booth to chant "Karros sucks! Karros sucks!" at "analyst" Eric Karros. That's what you get for being a Dodger.
-Tim McCarver spent approximately 3 innings talking about AJ Burnett. If the Giants somehow get lucky and the Rangers finish off the Yankes, Fox is going to weep at the prospect of a San Francisco - Texas world series. Because who wants to watch Tim Lincecum pitch to Josh Hamilton when you could watch Joba Chamberlain scratch his head.
-Tim McCarver spent the other 6 innings talking about Freddy Sanchez's bunting technique. Apparently if you put your bat in foul territory, you bunt the ball foul. But if you put it in fair territory, you can bunt it fair (this is actually true). The fact that Sanchez put his bat in exactly the same spot two pitches in a row and bunted one foul and then one fair is of no concern. Nothing to see here, folks. Just keep watching and be glad it's not Joe Morgan.
Of course, we have now reached the point of no return. The Giants are now far enough long that any talk of "just being happy to be here" is insanity. We have a 2-1 lead. We've beaten Roy Halladay and Cole Hamels. The bottom line is that if we lose this series, we are going to be devatstated. Allow me to analogize:
Let's say you are a single male. And you meet the most beautiful woman in the world. And the most incredible personality. And she likes baseball. And she's FUNNY. But enough about me. No, seriously, so you meet this woman. And you ask her out. She says no.
A) No big deal. You didnt expect her to say yes! You're you! You have spaghetti sauce on your shirt, you goober.
But then she changes her mind and says yes. And you go out. And have a great time! But then she says...no thanks to a 2nd date.
B) Well, that sucked. That's like being in the wild card race and the Rockies beat you out by winning their final 37 games, all in their last at-bat.
Ok, but then there is a 2nd date and a 3rd date. And you start writing love poetry. And you change your screensaver from Aubrey Huff to her. And THEN she says "it's not you, it's...yeah, actually it's you. You're a goober. I'm going to date Eric Hinske."
C) Yeah, you're a goober. Somehow you got lucky and made the playoffs, but Eric Hinske hit a homerun and you lost. If you weren't a goober, she wouldn't have left you for Eric Hinske!
All this is to say that the appropriate analogy for blowing a 2-1 lead against the Phillies in the NLCS is that you propose to this woman, she says yes, and then sells the ring at a pawn shop to buy a plane ticket to Brazil to be with Alejandro, the dude who used to beat you up in 3rd grade before his parents moved back to Brazil to run the family gun business.
Don't do it to us now, Giants. Yesterday, we almost sorta gave you a ring. We said "we want to spend the rest of our life with you." We're standing here at the alter. We're wearing a clean suit (no spaghetti sauce!). Look! We did our hair up all nice!
Walk your torture-loving self down the aisle.
Please?
Today's Poll Question
Is Andy losing it a little?
A) I would say so
B) Edgar Renteria is batting leadoff, so apparently he's not the only one.
C) Did he ever "have it" to begin with?
D) He hasn't said "Marmol" in a while...that's a positive sign.
Marmol.
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