Friday, October 29, 2010

I Officially Submit My Application for Admission into the American League West

Giants 2, Rangers 0
The Rangers bullpen is BAD. Oops, left the bold key on. But man...all this talk about how good the Texas offense is, and it turns out that they're only that good because they've been facing American League pitching all year. Yesterday the Rangers brought in one guy who coudln't throw a strike, another guy who has a 5.4 era, a third guy who has pitched in 10 games all season. They curiously didn't bring in the closer with the 2 era and the 100mph fastball. Which makes sense. Because the guys who got hits that inning, you know, Aaron Rowand, Edgar Renteria....those guys KILL100mph fastballs.
I think McCovey Chronicles said it best.
"When I think about the 2010 Giants, I think about homeruns by Edgar Renteria and 7-run rallies born of vigilant plate discipline."
But like I said, we've been facing National League pitchers all year. For all we know, if you stuck Renteria on the Royals, he hits .387 and hits 30 bombs. As such, I am officially applying to have the Giants play in the AL West next year.
Team Name: Giants!
Current Division: NL West.
Reason for wanting to switch: We have trouble hitting. Would like to face the Royals, Blue Jays, and Rangers more often.
Which teams in your current league would support your move: Not to sound cocky, but probably all of them.
What are you wearing? Excuse me?!?!?
Is that a fake beard? Maybe....
Now, does all this talk mean I think the Giants are going to win the world series? No.
Do we have a chance? I guess.
All it means is that hte last two days were insanely fun. After scoring 30 runs in 10 games, we scored 20 runs in 2 games. Nolan Ryan looked like he was ready to jump on the field and whip some a$$, and then pitch himself.
And now we go back to Texas, but with one very, very wonderful safety valve. For the first time in these playoffs, the Giants leave home and hit the road knowing that no matter what, they're coming home. When they left SF to go to Atlanta, I feared we'd never see them alive again. Same with heading to Philly for Game 6. And then each time they'd show up again, and yell "surprise!" and we'd wipe away our tears and hug them and then hit them and yell "don't DO that again! I mean it!" And they'd laugh and run away and go play with matches. Or something.
Moving on.
What can I say aout Matt Cain? I love when Matt Cain pitches to Buster Posey. It's like all the weirdness on the team is blocked out and suddenly it's these two southern guys. What are their conversations on the mound like vs. Buster's conversations with Timmy or Wilson?
Buster: What do you want to throw?
Timmy: F$%*#%##% don't worry about it. I'll throw a #$#(*($ changeup, man.
Buster: What do you want to throw?
Wilson: The Machine will throw whatever feels most Ninja. I'll let you know, buddy.
Buster: What do you want to throw?
Cain: Probably a curveball. Hey, we playing bridge Tuesday? Chelsea loves bridge.
Buster: Maybe. Touched By An Angel is on.
Uribe: Say what????
Cain: When did you get here?
But I digress.
I received some great texts last night. One from a non-Giants fan who confessed he is completely on the bandwagon despite the fact that he normally never does that. One that said "hey...they should bring in Zito...even he can't blow this." One that went off on Justin Bieber.
Taking those last two one at a time...

-How much does it suck to be Guillermo Mota's mom? Who's your son? Oh, he's the pitcher for the Giants. They dont' trust him to pitch unless they have a 9-run lead. If they have a 6-run lead, they're worried he'll give up 7 runs. But as soon as they get a 9-run lead, my little Guillermo runs down to that bullpen and warms up right away!
-But then again, how much does it suck to be Zito's mom? Who's your son? Oh, you know the guy on the Giants who pitches only if the Giants have a 9-run lead? Well, if he ever gets hurt....
-If Fox ever, EVER shows me another picture of Justin Bieber wearing a Giants hat, Rangers jacket, and apparently no shirt, I'm going to probably throw up on myself.
Last, you have to check out the McCovey Chronicles "Choose Your Own Path To The World Series". It's like a choose your own adventure book, you know, like "Fight the dragon, turn to page 24. Run away, turn to page 38" and then you turn to page 24 and it says "YOu got eaten! you're dead! The End."
Sample:
Draft a hitter! turn to page 108
No! Draft another pitcher! We need more pitchers! turn to page 123
and
Draft the catcher about whom the oracle as foretold turn to page 210
Draft that 1st baseman that that guy on that blog really likes turn to page 165
Brian Wilson Quoteable of the day
"This Twitter crap, I've obviously got to stop because people are taking it too serious. My aspect of that is I write a bunch of stuff that's not true. It's made up. Obviously I'm not doing things like going toe-to-toe with a ninja. Find me a ninja, for one."

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