Off-Season Preview Continued: Starting Pitching

This is going to be boring.

I think our starting pitchers next year will be the guy with two cy youngs, the guy who gave up zero earned runs in the playoffs, the other guy who gave up zero earned runs in the playoffs (because he didn't pitch...hee hee), the rookie who threw a shutout in the world series and didn't allow a runner to reach 2nd base, and the guy who had the lowest batting average against in the National League.

Is there some mystery here I'm not thinking of?

The only issue is in what order they are going to pitch. Notice how I did not dangle my participle. This is unlike a certain left-handed pitcher who dangled way too many participles last year, usually around belt-high. But I gramatically digress. Although I generally feel like going lefty-righty-lefty is overblown, I do understand why throwing three lefties in a row might be stupid. But at the same time, maybe it's fiendishly clever. Or rather, maybe fiendishly clever at the same time it is. I totally nailed that sentence.

Think about it.

You're a boring National League Team. Maybe the Pittsburgh Astros, or the Milwaukee Reds. You are playing the Giants. And guess what? You missed out on Timmy and Matt Cain! Nice work! Completely makes up for the fact that you've had 18 straight losing seasons or you've been rebuilding for like 6 years now or you have three good hitters and no good pitchers and you are forever associated with Bud Selig or you are formerly owned by a Nazi who once kicked your best pitcher off the team plane because he was injured and space was needed for the Nazi owner's stuffed dog.

So the first day, you face a lefty who throws 92, occasionally walks five people in a row, but is completely unhittable. And then the next day you face a lefty again so you're thinking hey, this is great. I'm comfortable now. But he throws 94, never walks people, and has a nasty slider. And then in game 3 you face another lefty, but this one throws 86, has a crazy curveball, and plays guitar.

I think Bochy should do it. He probably won't. He'll find some lefty to be the #2 starter instead of Cain and somehow it will end up being Zito. Or Rowand. Zito or Rowand. When you're CHAMPIONS OF THE ENTIRE WORLD, I guess you have to find something to complain about.

So that's our starting five. We're like a national championship college basketball team and we have everybody back. And nobody is leaving early to go pro. And nobody got lured by an agent into a deal that involved Tim Floyd pulling up to a Rodeo Drive coffee shop in a black escalade and handing an envelope stuffed with cash to an associate of rap mogul Master P. I think I got that story right. Checking....and....yep, nailed it.

Important 24 Hours of Magic News:
Today, this blog received a page view from somebody in the Netherlands. This is highly momentous. And while I'm trying to figure out why somebody in the Netherlands would read this blog, or accidentally trip on it (you can't even find it if you google "24 days of magic andy giants weirdo way too into the giants semi-amateur blog thing"), I do want to give a shoutout to the great country of Holland and to this great person who read this blog.

Next up: The bullpen
Then: The lineup
Then: Hmmm. Will it be April at that point?

Today's Poll Question:
What was that Dutch guy/girl googling?
A) 24 Daays oof Majik
B) Waarom is Barry zito zo betaalde?
C) Mat Latos is enigszins van een verliezer en ziet iets Nederlands, ik schaam me te zeggen
D) Uh. Soccer?